Chapter 54 - Selfish Love

The moment I've been dragging.... No. I am lying to myself........I am actually looking forward to tonight's date. To see Emir. I tried out several dresses but nothing seems to captured my attention. Kalau ada Khai and Juan sure best. Mereka pasti excited nak tolong aku pilih baju dan accessories yang sesuai utk dipakai.Tapi aku tak boleh let them know yet tentang Emir. Mampus aku kena 'drill' nanti by both of them. Khai will be angry sebab aku tak berterus terang and Juan will take the opportunity nak goda Imran.


So, Emir a model, ya..... Maybe dia suka yang sexy. "Just be yourself Q...", I said to myself sambil memusingkan badan mengayakan jacket yang aku beli di Bali dulu. I can be sexy in my own way. Tak payah nak dedah sana and dedah sini. Pants, t-shirt and jacket cukuplah. Simple but elegant. That's the theme for night.


Sampai saja aku didepan Eastin Hotel, aku tinggalkan kunci kereta pada car jockey yang telah sedia menunggu aku keluar kereta. As I walked in, I looked around to find any familiar faces. Aku harus berhati-hati, takut terserempak dengan orang yang kenal aku. Maklumlah PJ/KL kecil saja. Fire tend to spread wild. Kalau pertemuan aku malam ni sampai ke telinga Imran atau Abang Ngah, kecohlah alamatnya.

So far so good as I walked towards The Lounge and took a seat two tables from the entrance. I decided to wash my troat with something to drink. "Lime Margarita Mocktail, please. Thank you." I said to the waiter.


"Would there be anything else, mam?", he asked.


I looked at him and replied, "Not for now." He nodded and left. I made myself busy scrolling my Facebook pages and smile to myself....Imran posted the letter 'Q' on this recent posting with a short caption, "I'm missing this alphabet". Awww that is so sweet of him.

Credit to Jessie Ware and You Tube

But why am I here. With Emir and not with Imran. Bingung aku dibuatnya. Cari penyakitlah ni...."Eh....mana Emir ni. It's ten past eight and I began to feel restless.


My drink hampir habis but Emir masih tak muncul-muncul. I hope I am not being stood up. I ordered another drink and gave Emir another 15 minutes. I'll leave if he doesn't show up. Aku memandang ke arah luar restaurant beberapa kali tapi bayang Emir masih belum kelihatan.


As soon as I took the last sip of my drink, aku terpandang pintu elevator terbuka. Tiba-tiba aku nampak Emir stepped out with a few guys in casual wear. They seems to know each other as they laughed, hugged and shook hands. Who is Emir with...? Emir see them to the main entrance and waved.


Then he looked at me....He came towards me and took a seat next to me and took my hand. He flipped my hair back and kissed my shoulder.


I pulled by hand back.  "You're late by half an hour." I snapped.


Emir looked at me. "But you are here because you want to be here." He said.


"Ya...memang betul I want to be here. I have got nothing to hide....I am an honorable person. I keep my word. Unlike you....", I responded.


"Me? What's wrong with me? Teruk sangat ke I, sampai you treat me macam sampah. I lambat sikit jer. Listen, I met an old buddy and he invited me up to his room. Catching up stuff and that was it." He explained.


"Nope, I tak treat you macam sampah. You sendiri yang perangai macam sampah.", aku jawab dengan kasar. "It's beyond ones wildest imagination. Wait....where is this conversation heading.....?", I question myself.


Sitting next to me, Emir lightly reach for my hand under the table and caress softly. I retreat and he let go. "I'm sorry Emir, I dah hilang mood. I wanna go back.", and grabbed my handbag.


"Come on Q. I minta maaf I was late. Please don't go. I have been waiting for tonight.", he console me. His words and tone calm me a little. I turn to my left to face Emir. "Next time please be on time. To me punctuality is very important. It's a reflection of who you are. I know how you models are...lack of discipline.....", I said sambal melepaskan geram. "Can we order now...?"


"Sure.", he replied and laughed. "Gheezzz.... you scare me there for a moment "


"I'm sorry, I didn't mean to....but you really pissed me off....", I apologized. I looked at him. Emir was in his denim shirt and jeans.

"No, it's alright. It's my fault. I yang lambat. I shouldn't have made you wait. And it's not so gentleman of me. I yang sepatutnya meminta maaf.", he replied. "Come, let's order some food. You must be hungry....", he said sambil mendongkat mukanya memerhatikan aku. Jari menarinya dilalukan pada rambut aku. Aku membiarkan sahaja.


During the main course, we were engulf in conversation about the best country to visit. I told him about my wish to go away to historic city Istanbul and ride the hot air balloon in Cappadocia. "To get to ride on the hot air balloon would be a dream come through.", I excitedly explained.


"Hmmm...interesting. Kalau honeymoon macamana pulak?  Where would you like to....", he asked with interest.


"Nepal and Bhutan...", I instantly replied without hesitant. Emir stunned facial expression made me giggled. "Not what you expected, right?", I said.


"I have been to Nepal once. Though the city is dry and dusty, things are pretty cheap like food and souvenir. The highland is cold. You stand there and the clouds just past through you. It was an amazing feeling.", aku menceritakan pengalaman aku di Kathmandu with full gestures.


Emir showed much interest in my story. At times, he would put his arm around my chair and twice he had his arms on my shoulders.


"But Bhutan....that place sure looks so peaceful and green...Magnificent landscape and scenaries...well based on what I've seen in National Geogrphic...", aku sambung and I smiled. Emir was still staring at me.


Emir mengeluh dan memicit hidung aku. "You don't know the things I want to do to you...Eeee!", he said. He shook his head. "Yes, not what I expected....".


Note : Pictures and images are for illustration purpose only and are sources from Google

Chapter 53 - Aku Bersahaja

He turned around and bent his head lower to look me through the car windscreen. I switched on the screen button as it wind down. I looked at him. He had both arms folded on the edge of the windscreen.

"You're gonna be alright...?", he asked.

Aku maintain my coolness and replied, "Yeah I'll be okay. I live near by so....", as I raised my shoulder.

"Alright then.....you better go....ohh, and by the way can I call you tomorrow?", he popped a question.

Surprised as I was, "Suuuuree.....why not...". Aku jawab dengan nada sindir. I started my car engine. I looked at him one last time.

"Good night Emir. Sweet dreams....", I said. I released my hand break and accelerate.

Kebas rasanya pipi aku. Aku menepuk beberapa kali kedua belah pipi seperti untuk menyedarkan diri ini dari mimpi. Aku ketawa mentertawakan diri sendiri. Strange feeling.....I can feel a tingling sensation at the back of my neck.

Walked into my bedroom and fall back on the bed. "Emir....Emir....Emir....", namanya terungkap dari bibir aku. I closed my eyes and thought of his fingers running down my hair. Aku tersenyum sendirian lagi. Entah apa yang aku berangan.....

Credit to Trinity Optima Production and You Tube

Aku bersiap-siap untuk tidur bila mobile phone aku berdering. Lantas aku mengiring untuk memetik suis lampu meja katil. I grabbed my mobile phone and the screen displayed private number. Should I answer??

"Hello....", lalu senyap.

"Hi Q......?"

"Emir.....? Is that you....?". It sounded very much like Emir. I was a bit surprised as I did not expect him to call me this soon and this time of the night. Or rather did not expect him to call me at all.....

"I can't get you off my mind tonight......", he said.

Aku terdiam....Emir juga diam....I was stunned. "Oh!?", I responded. "Is that a title of a song....?". I was trying to divert the conversation before I start thinking what it could really meant.

Emir blasted a huge laugh....I was not happy by his response. "What's so funny....? It is a title of a song.....right?", I pretended to play dumb and humor him a little bit more. Then I sang to him, "Life is just a lonely highway,....Kravitz. Lenny Kravitz right...?".

"Nope, it is not a title of a song, love......Listen, I am being serious. I can't get you off my mind.", he took a deep breathe.


"Q, the more I get to know you, the more I like you. Betul-betul reeeally like you.". He sounded sincere and nothing is forcing him to say those words. He was direct. Straight to the point.

"Really....?:. Aku pula menarik nafas panas perlahan-lahan dan menghembus keluar melalui mulut. "I like you too, as a friend lah.....", I responded. Aku tutup lampu katil aku. And spoke to him in the darken room.

"Kawan saja.....kalau lebih dari itu tak boleh ke....?", such a blunt question. I felt as though lightning struck straight to my heart. Jantung aku berdegup laju.

"You pun tahu my situation. I'm attached. You juga cakap you are not looking around. You seem to change your woman every time I jumpa you. Kat luar sana,......you can get any woman you want. I am not the right one for you. Getting a woman is not a problem for you right? So, why do you want to commit yourself into another relationship? I jenis cemburu buta....I want one man one woman, for myself sahaja. I am not good at sharing. And I don't see that with you....and your life style....hmmmm.....let's put it this way......Emir we are not compatible. Totally the opposite....", I explained dengan nada bergurau. I hope he understood that I am rejecting his proposal gently.

I continue on."From the time I kenal you semasa di dalam train ke Alor Setar hingga saat ini....I tak dapat membaca you, and fikiran you. You are such an unpredictable kind of guy.", aku berterus terang. "I don't really know what to expect from you. One minute you're flirty then you can just be mean the next minute. Sometimes you excite me but other times you scare me. I am happy at this my point in life. I tak dapat memenuhi permintaan you. I just don't want to be hurt over and over again by someone like your type. Carilah perempuan yang sealiran dengan you. Yang same twisted mind like yours. And it's not me, Emir....". Aku mendiamkan diri hoping to hear him bagged.

"Your type.....? Wow.....coming from you, that hurts...", he replied. "Couldn't you find a little space in you heart to give me one last chance? That's all I'm asking...", he pleaded.

"Emir....wait a minute...bukan ke you cakap you wanna call tomorrow.........", I continued.

"Q dah tomorrow dah....look at the time.....", he replied. "But, listen....I want to meet you again.....kali ni betul-betul last time....okay.....", he pleaded.
Aku tergelak...., "You ni macam budak-budak bercinta...".
"One dinner.....please....let's give ourselves a chance. Get to know each other....hmmm? Okay...if thing doesn't workout we call quits all this shenanigans. You go on with your life. I tak akan ganggu you lagi....", he was so persistent.
"You ni suka paksalah. I tak suka macam ini tau.....(aku mendiamkan diri dan berfikir) alright Emir, one dinner and that's it....", I agreed.

"Thank you Q. I'll pick you up....", belum habis dia bercakap I cut him off...

"No let's meet there....", I said. I do not want to be caught dead with him on his big bike.

"Ok, I'm fine with that and meet you 8 pm Eastin PJ.", dia menetapkan jam dan lokasi.

"Ok....,you got what you want. Can I go to sleep now....?", suara aku mula mengambarkan yang aku amat mengantuk.

"Sure, sure.....night Q...", he said.


"Night Emir.....", I replied and hung up.

A few seconds later my mobile phone buzzed....

Emir
<Kalau I tak cuba I tak akan tahu...........💘💘>

I giggled. Hah! Ada hati dia nak mengurat aku....

Me <Hey that's me. When was this? You curi-curi ambil photo I?>

Emir <I tak dapat tengok orangnya. Dapat tengok gambar pun jadilah....>

Emir <Looking forward seeing you tomorrow>

Emir <Ooppsss....not tomorrow, tonight!💗>

Me <😊 yes,...yes.....I will see you there>

Sambil memejamkan mata, aku memeluk handphone. Aku tersenyum puas. I am falling for this guy, which is ridiculous!. What is the attraction with Emir? Is it because dia pandai memujuk dan pandai membuat aku cair with his charm? Atau that fighting spirit in him? He is not the typical romantic guy who will court to get you and when he succeeded the next stage in life will be bland because there is nothing much to look forward......Or it's his confidence I cannot resist? He is content and comfortable where he is at.....nothing to prove to other people. It could also be Emir wild side that I find it very erotic. He can put a fight to test your limit. But when you are about to fall apart.....he will not let you crumble. He knows what he wants and he will go the full length to be at your side, through thick and thin.


Dan aku terlelap....Imran.....
Mata aku terbeliak. Imran!
Shit!


Note : Pictures and images are for illustration purpose only and are sources from Google

Chapter 52 - Masih Ada

I went straight to the counter to place my order.


"Hi Brian how are we doing tonight?' I asked my regular coffee barrister.


"Baik Kak Q...what can I get for you tonight? The usual?...", Brian asked as he wrote my name on the paper cup. Q = Queen!


"Yes, the usual....how's classes coming along...?', I asked again and passed him my member card.


Brian punched my order and scan my card. "Kak thanks so much for recommending the new tutor. Senang saya nak faham Physics sekarang...". he replied and return my member card.


"Well, I am happy for you.", I said and smiled at him.


"Kak Q, you can collect your coffee at the end of the counter. By the way banana muffin is on the house.", he said and smile back at me.


"Wow....thanks Brian. On the house? Really? I hope it doesn't come out of your pocket.....", aku bergurau.


"Tak lah Kak Q, complimentary from our Manager....you are our regular customer....", Brian explained and gave a broad smile.


"Alright....thank you Starbucks.", and I gave a flying kiss. I walked over to the end of the counter to pick up my order. I left Emir who was next in line.

Credit to Video Lagend and You Tube

I found a table and placed my latte. When Emir finally joined me I took a sip. Just to show him I'm preoccupied. He took a sit next to me instead of my opposite.


"I nampak you bagi budak tu flying kiss..., apa cerita?", he suddenly asked. He open up his coffee cap. "You ada apa-apa ke dengan budak mentah tu....?".


"Apasal you sibuk....?", I answered feeling irritate by his interrogation.


"Apa yang you nak dari I, Emir...?", I asked. "What does it takes for you to leave me alone...".


Emir held tight his hot Americano. He took a deep breathe. "Do you still remember the truth or dare game we played when we were in Alor Setar? Now, I am ready to tell you what happened to my doomed marriage...", Emir bersuara.


Terkejut jugak aku....malam-malam buta macam ni nak buat confession. Layan saja lah......."I'm listening....", aku melirik mata ke kanan memerhatikan Emir. Eeee....benci!

He turned and look at me. "I had two failed marriages. The first was an arranged marriage by Mak Uda. I barely know her but was told she was pious and come from a respectable religious family in Telok Bagan. As I just returned from abroad and tak ada haluan hidup, I agreed just untuk tak menghampakan harapan Mak Uda. She hope I would be tamed and settled down. Kami disatukan and took her to live in Singapore where my next assignment took me. I had a lucrative modelling job and two commercial project which I can't turn down. You have to understand, I am married now, I need to support my wife, family.....", he explained.


I was anxious to know what happened next. "So....,?", I responded.


Emir was still looking at me. "Tak sampai dua bulan she changed. Totally changed. I blame myself because I was always working late and spent less and less time with my new wife. Sedik demi sedikit hilang kesopanan dia. Mula-mula pandai memakai make-up. Some days I had to travel on short notice for photoshoots. Then one day I return she was no longer wearing the hijab when we go out to dinner. I still didn't question her decision. She became more experimental with her appearance. Not the innocent looking kampong girl I saw for the first time. Why the drastic change? She dressed sexier to the point I as a male model felt violated."


Aku tergelak. Tapi aku cepat-cepat berdehem.....my heart blushed....and giggled, violated....?

"Then when I came back from another photoshoot,  I caught her in bed with a man she met at a club in my house. She has been to night clubs and discos without my knowledge. So I divorced her. Frankly speaking don't mind her sense of fashion but sleeping with another man, how ever terrible I am as her husband,.....I surely don't deserve it.....".


He stopped and took a few gulps of his coffee. "Yang peliknya, tak sekelumit kuman pun I rasa cemburu when I saw her in bed with another man.


Aku diam dan mendengar kisah hitam hidupnya. "I am so sorry to hear about your marriage....have you any contact with her lately...? Is she okay?", aku terasa pedihnya.


"I ceraikan dia dengan talak tiga and sent her back to Mak Uda without any explanation.", he added. "Last I heard she is out and about in Singapore chasing the night life she crave so much."


"Wow....that's horrible.....", I uttered.




"My second marriage was to a female photographer whom I met in Hong Kong. Smart and beautiful woman. Asalnya dia seorang model but as one grow older, they tend to lose lots of contract. Faham-faham sajalah dunia modelling is very competitive. Instead she learn about photography and became a professional photographer. She produced high quality works and I became one of her regular model.


"I did not know that you were a model?", I said. "Sorry, didn't mean to interrupt...please go on....".


"Nah...it's okay. For my minion.....apa pun tak I tak marah....", he smiled broadly as he replied.


Then I turn and face him. "Can you stop calling me, minion? I tahu I am not an important person and it is not always I ikut saja apa orang suruh I buat....I bukan pak turut ya.....". I argued.


"Okay...,jangan salah sangka.....bukan macam tu maksud I....pada I minion tu ialah macam you. Cute, petite and adorable. Itu jer....jangan ikut sangat Oxford dictionary translation." he explained.


"I tak kisah apa explanation you.....stop calling me minion. I tak suka!", I stressed my point.


"Baiklah....no more pet names or name calling.", he agreed.


"Thank you!". I responded.


"Anyway, you nak dengar tak sambungan cerita I?", he was a little irritated that I interrupted his story. Aku mengangguk. "Sambung sajalah.....", aku buat-buat berminat untuk mendengar.


" Okay....,berbalik kepada my second marriage. We work together a lot and at the end we fell in love. Unfortunately being from a different race, religion and background, she find it hard about converting to Islam. Neither would I about converting to her religion, which was Buddhist. We agreed to register our marriage in Hong Kong and maintain our own religion. Somehow, Mak Uda and my family found out about our marriage through some online news portal and I kena marah kaw-kaw....", he stopped and had both palm closed his face.


"Malu sangat....tak terkata. What have I done .......I was so depressed and I had a melt down. I persuade Gina to convert just because I was under pressure. Obviously the marriage didn't last as she was not willing to change her religion. We parted ways and got an annulment. It has been a year and I am not looking.......around for now.....I just want to enjoy life and just be me....", he said.


"Hmm...interesting....your life.....tapi sampai bila you nak enjoy? Didn't you learn anything from all of your crisis....?", I query.


He looked at my with a surprised look.


"Maksud I, you had or have a successful modeling career...I don't know...just guessing....you travel and get to see the world......you dah kahwin dengan gadis melayu then kahwin dengan gadis berbangsa asing....live a comfortable life....so apa lagi yang you want in life? I bukanlah expert dalam hal-hal keagamaan but I rasa kalau you ada masalah you should pray to Allah.....maybe you can seek solace from Him....", I suggested.




I continued. "You ni jenis orang yang buat sesuatu dengan mengikut kata hati. In most circumstances you kena berfikir rational. Itulah kalau tak berpegang teguh pada agama...macam ni lah jadinya. Boleh jadi murtad tau....Eeeee baik you mengucap cepat....


"Hey I rasa pengetahuan agama I lagi dalam daripada you.....", he responded.


"I tak kisah.....at least I don't need Xanax to relax myself...", aku membalas biar dia rasa sakitnya kata-kata aku.




Kali ni mata dia terbeliak maybe he did not expect me to say such thing. "Wah...! ukur baju di badan sendiri okay.....I know what I am doing with my life...", he raised his voice.


I retreat and finish up my coffee. "Well, thank you for sharing your story with me. It's late and I am tired. Can I drop you off somewhere?", I asked.


"Kenapa? Tiba-tiba nak balik......you tak suka bila I cakap macam tu....?", he held my arm. He looked directly at me. Either aku dah mengantuk atau mata aku dah naik rabun....but he does look attractive.


"Kenapa you tengok I macam tu...?", he asked.


Aku mengelipkan mata beberapa kali. "Tengok you? Tengok you macamana...?', I asked him back.


"Nevermind....kita tanya dia....dia tanya kita balik....perempuan ni....sebenarnya pelik and so unpredictable....I tak boleh baca fikiran orang tau....", he complained.


"Excuse me...I tak suruh baca fikiran I pun....tak payahlah you pening-peningkan kepala you....!", I responded and laughed.

I just need to ask him one last question before I call the night off. "So you are a model ya....". I was so curious of his lifestyle.


He smiled and let go of my arm. "I was....once upon a time. Not anymore. I do get offers but I am more selective. I want to get away from all the hectic schedule and live at my own pace.", as he tapped his fingers on the table. "Can you drop me off at Dpulze? I left my bike back there....", he wanted to know.


Aku mula memperbetulkan rambut aku. Tanpa semena-mena Emir melirik jari jemarinya di rambutku. Aku terpaku dan hanya memerhatikan pergerakan tangannya.


"I'm really liking your company but it had to end. One date. That's all I was allowed....", Emir berkata.


"Excuse we, you and I agreed. That was it....only one date and we're done.", I replied softly.


"Q, I nak tanya you..., do you want to out again with me again? Cause I really love spending time with you....we have one life. Live your best life.", he uttered.", he said as his lips getting closer to my face.


Aku terpaku. Terasa kehangat nafasnya. "Emir...", I said. "I think this is not right. We should not be doing this.....".


Bibirnya menghampir telinga aku. Aku memejamkan mata kerana aku takut.....tadi aku tertawakan dia. Sekarang aku terpukau dengan kata-katanya......


"So, are you ready....?", he replied.


And I turn to face him......"Ready? Ready for what...?". I was waiting for his next move.


"Ready untuk hantar saya ke motor saya.....", he answered and laughed at my face.


I was stunned. "You ni kan memang sial tau. Suka mainkan perasaan I. Menyampah! Benci!", I replied and pinched his waist. "Cepatlah....I pun ada hal lagi selepas ini....".


"Imran?", he said. I hated when he brings Imran in our conversation.


"Suka hati I lah....I ada spare.....", I snapped at him and walked away.

 

 Note : Pictures and images are for illustration purpose only and are sources from Google

Chapter 51 - Untitled??

Days past by and one evening aku, Khai dan Juan went out for a movie. We decided to catch Crazy Rich Asians at Dpulze Cyberjaya. We queue to get pop corn sambil berborak-borak kosong.  Tiba-tiba aku terpandang susuk badan sesesorang yang aku sangat kenal. He had his arm around a gorgeous lady while she had her arms around his waist. I pretended not to see him and instantly turn around and hid myself facing Khai who was much taller than I am. "Apahal kau ni....tepi lah...our turn is next....", said Khai who was annoyed by my actions.


"Tak ada apa-apa....kau belikan untuk aku sekali (sambil menghulurkan wang kertas dua puluh ringgit). Aku nak pergi the ladies sekejap...", I replied.


"Tu lah tadi kau tak nak pergi....", Juan responded. "Hah....cepatlah, we meet you in room 9. Nah ambik tiket kau.....nanti tak lepas security."


Aku melulu meninggalkan mereka dan terus ke restroom located sebelah game arcade store. Aku harap Emir and his girlfriend masuk dulu.....


Setelah beberapa minit....aku keluar dari restroom dan berhati-hati memerhatikan kawasan sekeliling. Beberapa kali aku menjengguk arah TGV with hope the course is clear. I just want to make sure not to bump into him....


"So you think you're smart enough to escape from me...? Think again.....", suaranya sinis.


Aku terkejut dan hampir terlanggar dinding. I can feel my face burning red as I was caught right handed.


He quickly grabbed hold of my waist to stabilized my weight. I avoided his contact but he was quick and force me to walk in his arms.


Aku memberanikan diri melawannya. "Are you stalking me, Emir.....? Please let go off me. Don't embarrassed yourself in public...", I was stern and put up a struggle to release myself from his gripped.


"Me...? Embarrassed...? Are you kidding?", he replied. He was too strong for me. He was practically dragging me along his side.


We finally stopped in front of a tall slender model like human being. Long legs. No better still, skinny long legs. She is as tall as Emir. Macam anorexic saja.....hidup dengan epal and water agaknya...

 "Sofi, this is Q. Q this is Sofi....", and he introduces us. Hendak tak nak aku gagahkan diri and shook hands with Sofi. Hermm....memang....macam bersalam dengan ranting kayu.


"Remember the minion I spoke about....ni lah dia...", he refreshed Sofi memory as he giggled. Sofi nodded disertakannya senyum yang dibuat-buat.


A minion? Is that what he called me? Ergh...!!


"Mir.....jomlah...", ajak Sofi dangan manja. Tahap gediklah tu......"Movie kita nak start...", as she pulled Emir away from me.


Tanpa berlengah-lengah, "Sorry....this minion has to go and nice meeting you Sofi...", I was still able to maintain my coolness. I immediately left both of them.


But I felt my wrist was grabbed from behind. "I'll call you later...", Emir said politely. There was a sudden change in character which confuses me. Such a strange guy. Ini kah lelaki yang siang dan malam menghantui fikiran aku? Oh! tidak.......


I turned and stopped. "Please don't. Not later and not ever.....", I gave a little struggle to release my hand and quickly walked away.


After the movie, Juan was hungry so we decided to have dinner at Sushi Zanmai. 


We were seated and taught to scan the bar code by the restaurant supervisor and can immediately place  our orders through their mobile application. Wow....! How cool is that....! I was so impressed and volunteered to take everyone's orders.......


While waiting for our food, both Khai and Juan kept themselves busy updating their Facebook and Instagram.


Ramai jugak orang malam ni. Sale tak ada but somehow the attraction is there. Aku terpandang ke arah kedai buku MPH.....perfect maybe I'll stop by there later to get magazines. Tiba-tiba mata aku terpaku ke arah Emir yang bersandar di luar MPH store. Emir juga memandang ke arah aku. Our eyes were locked. He pulled out his mobile phone and brought it to his ear.

Buzz....buzz....buzz.......


Aku terkejut. It was my mobile phone. Lalu aku menyambut panggilan....

"Hello...?", aku jawab.


"Q....come over here. We need to have a talk...", it was Emir.


"Hi...apa khabar...?", I pretended to have a conversation on the phone. My palm is sweating as it was Emir voice that I'm hearing.


I went on into the conversation by nodding and nodding.....and inserted short remaks such as, "I'm good...",


"Nope I don't think so....I'm busy at the moment...",


"Yeah...",


"Sure...", and finally.....


"Talk to you soon...".


And I hang up! Padan muka dasar jantan tak guna! Boleh blah lah.....


I look up to see Emir. He still had his mobile phone in his ear. And he doesn't look happy.


Padan muka....kau boleh panggil aku minion....mentang-mentanglah aku kecik and pendek, you named me name?


"Siapa tu Q", Tanya Khai.


"Ah....office colleague aku. Dia nak ajak pergi Starbucks for coffee...", aku jawab dan cuba merahsiakan panggilan dari Emir.


"Oh...I see....eh jom makan.....sedapnya temaki roll ni...", Juan mengajak.
Aku tersengih. Aku mencuri pandang ke arah Emir but he was no longer there. Lapang dada aku rasa. Baru selera aku datang.

Tepat pukul 10 malam kami bersurai. Juan dan Khai had to return to KL and they promised for a sleepover this weekend. I am looking forward to share events happened the past weeks. We hugged and I see them off at the entrance of Homst Chinese Muslim Restaurant. Then I walked to the basement car park.

My mobile phone buzz...."Ni mesti Khai....apa lagi agaknya dia nak....", hati aku berkata-kata.


"Yes babe....apa lagi....I ingat....tomorrow pizza party and yes don't forget to bring the sexiest nighty wear....", aku terus respond.


But the line was quiet. Maybe tak ada reception. Right?  I'm in the basement. I hang up but a few seconds later my phone buzzed again.


"Khai....is that you.....", I asked and kept on walking to my car. At the same time I dug my hand in my handbag to search for my car keys.


Then I heard a male voice...jantung aku berdegup dengan pantas. Aku suspend. basement ini agak lengang. But I had my car keys and that's the only thing can get between me and the stranger. Then the stranger said, "Turn around slowly....".


I was prepared for the worst. I pointed the sharp end of my key and since I do not want to cause any scene, I did as I was told.
There he stood,.....Emir.....!


"You scared me...Emir. Please do not that again!", aku jawab sambal memukul lengannya dengan handbag aku. He took the beating because he knows he was at fault. I was close to tears..."Apa lagi you nak...? You really are stalking me....you nak I buat police report...?", I turn back and walked fast towards my car. I pressed the remote and my car unlocked.


"Q, wait...dengar dulu....let me explain...", he pleaded.


I wiped my eyes. "Stop it Emir. Leave me alone. There are so many cameras in this basement.", I threatened him just to scare him off.


"Okay....Okay....but at least dengar lah apa I nak cakap dulu. You drive. Let's go to Starbucks and I have lots of explaining to do.", Emir memujuk aku.


Yes, I am just a woman who is weak.........aku cair dengan pujukan Emir.
We didn't speak a word throughout the seven minute drive from Dpulze to Starbucks.


Selesai mamakir kereta aku, Emir came out and walked straight towards me. He smiled....,"You are my minion....", he said and giggled. I just lost it.....I smack his arm for the second time tonight and I know it hurt him pretty bad. He kept on rubbing the pain off.


Note: Pictures and images are for illustration purpose only and are sources from Google

Chapter 50 - Prahara Cinta

Maybe I should not go off on a break.....anymore.....cause every time I return I will carry with me a 'baggage'. I am tired of this runaround. Abang Ngah. Imran. Emir.

Credit to MostlyJazz JKT and You Tube

Is there something wrong with me....? Balik dari Bali aku bergaduh dengan Imran. Balik dari Kedah aku bergaduh dengan Abang Ngah. Emir? Jumpa-jumpa saja dah bergaduh.....

Nak kena mandi bunga ke agaknya aku ni.....? Ishhh......aku pun mendail nombor Khai...

"Assalammualaikum Khai.....", I greeted her.

"Q...? Waalaikumsalam.....hah apa cerita kau. Lama menghilang? Aku message kau tak pernah nak angkat? Office Tan Sri dah lama kau tak jenguk? Apahal kau ni....?", asked Khai in one breathe.

 "Amboi garangnya.....relaxlah babe......ada hal sikit so aku ke Kedah last weekend. Attend wedding saudara belah arwah ayah aku.....", I explained calmly.

"Ah...ye lah tu....ke kau pergi dengan Imran and then kau berdua elope? Kahwin lari ke Siam....yer...?", Khai was playing the guessing game.

"Khai.....aku tak segila tu okay....mampus bapak aku belasah aku hidup-hidup nanti....aku pergi seorang saja and naik train.", aku tergelak..

"Train......are you serious? Mengadalah kau ni. Habis tu kenapa kau tak ajak aku sekali....", Khai asked.

"I just want to go by myself.....alone.....nak jumpa relatives yang berkurun aku tak jumpa. I had to do it on my own. It's a family thing.....you know.......", aku jelaskan. Khai senyap mendengar penjelasan aku.

"Anyway, malam tadi aku ajak abang ngah for dinner. We spoke face to face.", I said dan membuka cerita kejadian malam tadi. Aku berlegar-legar di tepi sofa panjang lalu duduk dan memandang jauh.

"SOoooo....what happen? How did he take it?", Khai was so interested to know.

"Not good....I told him I am not his fiancé. I will never marry my own brother....and that I am seeing someone.....Dia cakap dia harap perhubungan aku tak akan kekal and I will go crawlling back to him.", aku melepaskan nafas tanda lega.

 "Shit....he said that to you....?",she uttered.

"Itulah aku cakap dia tu mental sikit......at one point dia marah sampai hempas tangan atas meja....takut jugak aku. Manalah tahu terkena pelempang Jepun dari abang ngah....mahu koma aku. However, I'm relief sebab dah berterus terang sebelum things get out of control....", I explained. "By the way the night before, Imran came and we went out for dinner...", I said.

"Wah....kau ni banyak simpan rahsia ye....dulu you would always share things with me. You've changed so much Q....sedih aku rasa....", Khai sounded being sidelined.

"Khai....janganlah macam tu....there are so many things I want to tell you tapi tak sempat nak jumpa atau call.....aku bergaduh dengan Imran a few weeks after we came back from Bali. Things he said really hurt my feelings. Then I met a guy masa aku travel to Kedah....rupanya relative sebelah Mak Uda aku....banyak nak cerita Khai.....we should have a sleep over....", aku explained.

"Wooo....wooo....woooo.....what gaduh dengan Imran.....met another guy....aku ketinggalan banyak ni.....tak fair la macam ni Q...I want details......details and more details!", Khai mengusik aku. She giggled.

 "This weekend kita lepak nak? aku belanja....I will tell you everything.....", aku mengumpan Khai.

"Okay....Juan macaman....? Kalau dia tahu kita keluar berdua.....,she will be utterly distraught....", terkekek Khai ketawa....

"Amboi macam bunyi diva yer......hmmmm......I am not ready yet to share my story out in the open. Juan pun kawan aku tapi dia tu tak boleh simpan rahsia....kalau dia tahu aku ada masalah dengan Imran...., mesti dia cuba cut in line.....", jelas aku sambal ketawa.

 "Isyh....tak kan lah Juan nak buat macam tu pada you...?", Khai menyangkal telahan aku.

 "Imran pernah beritahu aku Juan ada call dia a couple of times ajak dinner and movie but Imran declined.....he said either he had other plans or busy....", I explained.

"Juan...., Juan....., tunang orang pun dia sanggup nak tackle.....", Khai replied in disappointment.

"Okay lah babe....aku nak tidurlah....penat sangat otak aku.....kalau boleh aku nak mimpi yang indah-indah saja malam ni.....esok aku mengadap parents aku then nak pergi shopping sikit. Lusa aku dah kena masuk kerja. I'll call you before Friday and kita plan nak jumpa kat mana....okay?", aku mengakhiri perbualan kami.



"Orait....roger.....tidurlah wahai permaisuri......., muah...!", she responded.


Aku tergelak. " Night...".


I resume to my bedroom sambil berbaring aku teringat insiden malam tadi. I have never seen the rage and anger in Abang Ngah before tonight. That was shocking. Seram sejuk aku di buatnya. Takut jugak aku kalau-kalau dia apa-apakan aku.


Sambil membelek-belek talipon bimbit, aku scroll gambar Imran yang membanjiri picture album. Aku sayangkan Imran tetapi perasaan aku bagai tawar bila berada dengannya. Seolah-olah perasaan ini sudah beralih arah ke.....Emir...? Oh...tidak....not that jerk. Such a pain....intimidating....tapi his attitude buat aku addictive ingin bersua dengannya. Yeah, he treats me like dirt sometimes but I take it as a challenge. The more I hate and despise him, the more I am attracted to him. There is that adrenaline rush when I see him and hear his voice.....hmmmm....so thrilling.


Note : Pictures and images are for illustration purpose only and are sources from Google

Chapter 49 - Jangan

It has been three days since I spoke to Emir and something has gone very wrong with him recently. I did not try to interfere since he said he'll call me for the new dinner date appointment. So I kept on with my usual routine and try to concentrate more on my relationship with Imran. Once I fulfilled Emir's dinner date, the sooner I can get on with my life.

Tonight I switched off my cellphone. I have prepared dinner. And I invited Abang Ngah for dinner. At least I owe him this much. I must face him.

Around eight, he arrived with some flowers and a bar of Lindt Macadamia chocolate. Pandai nak ambil hati aku. Hati aku cair secair chocolate.......

Aku bertanyakan khabarnya lalu menjemput duduk. "Please have a seat. I have cook up something new which I saw on You Tube. Gordon Ramsey's Shephard's pie. I hope you'll like it...". I immediately serve shrimp cocktail for our entre.

"So.....what's going on with you, Q? You have not been avoiding me, have you?", Kasyaf asked. He took a gulp of water.

Aku memandang Abang Ngah. "In a way.....yes. I have been avoiding you.", there I've said. There was a huge surprised look on his face.

Abang Ngah placed his fork on his plate and wiped both sides of his mouth. "Have you....?", he deliberately asked again. "Do you have any problem with me....?". He looked at me, hard.

"Yes, I have been avoiding you. Tonight I want to come clean with you. Please hear me out....", I said clearly.

"Okay, I'm listening...", he replied sambil menganggukkan kepala.

"Alright.....hhaaa......abang ngah, you have been going around telling people that we are engaged. And we're not. Get that clearly okay abang ngah. Kita adik beradik whether you can accept it or not. I need you to understand that it is impossible for us to get married. I have met someone and have been seeing him for almost a year.", I told him off.

He lifted his fork and took a bite of the shrimp. "...so you kept it a secret from me all this time....? Why Q....", he asked.

I haven't touch my food and just stared at it. Abang Ngah suddenly slammed his hand on the table and it shook the tall glass placed next to his plate. "Who is this guy....that you are seeing? Do I know him....?", another question directed to me. "You make me look like a fool....you know that....!". He was pissed off.

Aku memberanikan diri melawan abang ngah. "You are being ridiculous....telling your friends we are engaged to be married. You make ME look like a fool, too......You tak malu ke....people know we are brother and sister.", I stressed the main issue in hand and not who is the guy I'm going out with.

"You are so sure that we are related...", he was being cynical about our relationship. "So.....are you a doctor now? You didn't come out of my mother's womb.....I saw she brought you back from....from ...that ....old man who abandoned you because your of....the death of your parents and had no money....!".

"Thank you for the reminder....", I said.

"Well, you brought it on to yourself....", he fired back at me.

"Abang ngah......, I have clarified with daddy and mommy. Kalau tak percaya, malam ni jugak kita boleh pergi jumpa mommy....untuk dapatkan kepastian.....", I insist. Now I stared directly at him.

"I've spent my entire life taking care of you...protecting you....I've been there for you...good times and bad times....I have sacrifice so much and this is the thanks I get....?", he raised his voice.

"Ohh....Jadi Q kena balas balik lah semua jasa abang ngah .....dengan mengahwini my own abang....? Yes, Q sedar Q ni anak pungut....you do not have to remind me. I am grateful to your family for raising an orphan and was given a second lease of life......Q ingat selama ni abang sayangkan Q because you care so much for your little sister........Come on la.....abang ngah be rational and grow up for once and for all. You are my brother just like abang long and abang chik....kenapa abang ngah ada perasaan cinta terhadap Q.....there are so many other women out there waiting for you.....Q tak pernah ada perasaan cinta sebagai seorang kekasih terhadap abang ngah. Jadi let's move on.....", I sternly replied.

"Dasar perempuan yang tak sedar di untung!", he snapped at me and stood up....his face was so red....

At this point I felt my safety was a little threatened. Then I stood up too. "Abang Ngah.....sit down....let's be civilized....nothing you say can change my feelings towards you.....I want to apologized if in any way,.....all this while if I may have mislead your feelings......please...., let's sit and eat our dinner....", aku memujuknya.

Dia duduk kembali lalu mengangkat garpu. Sambil menyucuk sayur dalam pinggannya, "I thought to love me....", he uttered.

"Of course I love you but sayang seorang adik terhadap abangnya. Itu saja.....", I said. "Q, tak boleh tangguh lagi perkara ini. I have to clear the air. Now that I am in a 'relationship' I need to put this....you and I.....behind,.....in the past. I will always respect you Abang Ngah. Yes I owe you a lot but please don't force our love to go beyond what is concede. I am tired of running away from you, abang ngah.......hiding from you and ignoring your presence. I want things to be normal. Can I count on you......abang ngah?", I was practically pleading.

His eyes was still fixed on the plate of salad. "Abang ngah......can I count on you.....?", I asked him again. He looked up.....and I can see tears welled up in his eyes.....

"Abang ngah.....please don't.....please don't cry.......you are making me feeling guilty......", I said and aku tiba-tiba sebak.

"You should.....feel guilty.....I hope for the rest of your life. This guy......you're seeing......it won't last!.......then I want to see you crawl back to me....!", he expressed his anger. He stood up and grabbed his jacket before slamming my door......

Well, it went well.....didn't it? 

After the commotion with Abang Ngah....I lost my appetite....Lazy to clean up the dishes of untouched food, I lay on the couch and start sobbing. Should I call mom and dad? Maybe they can put some sense into abang ngah.

I grabbed my cellphone on the coffee table. There were 2 missed calls. Emir?? 8:15pm and 8:20pm....I redial the last number and it was ringing....

The moment someone pick up the phone I could hear loud music in the background. A mixture of men and women's voices perhaps at a party or discotheque..."Hello.....", I called.

Then I heard a familiar voice.....It was Emir's....."Hey, what's up", he asked. Sounds like him but I couldn't exactly say it was him.

"Did you call me earlier tonight...?", I raised my voice and was already sitting upright on the couch. Pressing the cellphone closer and closer to my ears....."Emir? Is that you....? Why did you call me....?", I asked him back.

"Hello....?", he said again....I can hear women laughing......

Credit to MarianJolaVEVO and You Tube

And I hang up..................pergi mampuslah......







 Note : Pictures and images are for illustration purpose only and are sources from Google.

Chapter 48 - Starting Over Again....?

Emir never did call me back.....

Two nights later I went out with Imran. He came all the way from KL to Cyberjaya for our date.....He picked me up at eight o'clock as I summoned the guard to let Imran through. I took a flight of stairs and waited on the foyer....He brought my baby home...

I didn't wait for him to get out of the car. Instead I walked calmly to the car and let myself in. I lean towards Imran and gave him a kiss on his cheeks....he was caught by surprise by my reaction. "Hello there.....wow.....I missed you too very much....", he replied and kiss me back. He squeeze my fingers. He smells so good.....Eternity by Calvin Kline....rustic but contemporary. I smiled broadly.

We went to The Steakhouse at Shaftsbury for dinner. As we were seated, the server left us with book of menus. We sat opposite each other. "Wow, this is fancy.....ada special occasion ke?", I asked and smiled at him. "I would just settle for fastfood...", aku mengusik Imran.

He laughed. "Of course special occasion.....I love spending time with you...I have never stopped loving you, Q".....He looked directly at me. I lift my hands to reach for his. He have a light squeeze.

"I know....", I said and looked directly in to his eyes. Aku tunduk malu.....

Dinner was good and the food is exquisitely presented. I had Trio Ribs which was cooked 3 ways while Imran had Steak with mushroom and mash potatoes on the side.

Half way through dinner Imran started a more serious conversation about our relationship.

"I would like to meet your parents one of these days.....can you introduce them to me.....?", he asked.

"Seriously....?", I was a bit surprised with his request. "Yeah sure.....I like that....very much....but...", I answered.

"Oh oh.....there's a but.....", he responded to my unfinished line.."You think it's not the right time....? I understand....", was his immediate assumption.

"No that's is not the issue.....the truth is.....I have this one other matter. Once I dah resolve this matter I will introduce you to my parents. By the way, they like you.....I 've told them about you and shown pictures of you. I don't see any objection from their side....of you and me....", I explained. "Nothing to worry about.....", I added.

Imran laughed...."What do you mean mean I have nothing to worry about....? Of course I'm worried.....nanti orang lain masuk line and terus pinang you....I yang gigit jari nanti.....", he relied. Aku hanya tersengih sahaja...

"....and you showed them pictures of me....?", his laughed changed to giggle. "Segan pulak rasanya....", he said.

"Showed my mom the ring you gave me. She said it's gorgeous and, I might add...she asked when can they meet with you?", I told him....That made him smile.

"And this other matter you said......does it involved Kasyaf?", he asked. "Look at me.....Q,....Is it Kasyaff....?", he asked again.

Basically I have two matters and not one. Kasyaf being one of it. The main issue which has been lingering in my mind was the conversation I heard between Imran and Mak Jah. Is that something I should bring up tonight......?

"Imran....that is something I have to deal myself. Kasyaf is my problem. I don't want it ended as a cold war. I love him, Imran. But as a brother. I want you to understand that....I have no other passionate feelings towards him.....THAT he needs to realize too...", I replied.

"I may have misled him in some ways sampai dia boleh ada perassan cinta towards me....All this time he was the only guy I trusted and reply upon. I always hangout with his group of friends,...with him of course. I never push him went he grabbed my waist or when he kissed me. He will always be there wherever I go....until....I met you....", lagi sekali aku avoid eye contact. Aku tunduk memandang tangan aku yang aku genggam rapi di atas peha.

"Q..., look at me....", he said. I looked up. Imran got up and came over to my side and held my hands. "Understood.....I don't want to loose you ever......I want to be the first one to tell your parents that I am in love with their daughter and I come asking permission for your hand in marriage." he finished.

I was still looking at Imran. Aku tiba-tiba sebak dengan kata-katanya....dengan tidak semena-mena air mata aku mengalir di hujung mata kiri.....Aku pantas mengelap airmata dengan jari. "I'm flattered.....and touch by your words....that means a lot to me....", I replied. Imran hands cupped my face....while his thumbs caresses my soft cheeks. "I LOVE YOU...", and he whispered.

I immediately grabbed his arms....I would have kissed him there and then.....I could. I stopped myself when I saw the server came toward us with our dessert. The server left soon as he has placed the plates in front of us. "I love you too, Imran...", I whispered back at him. He giggled. I lightly bush my arms against his arm.....to hide my embarrassment.

"Come let's finished up our dessert and I send you back home.....I wish to take you home with me for good the next time we meet.....", he suggested. I replied,..."Imran....", dengan memukul manja on his arm.

That was a wonderful dinner. Imran's friend, Lokman picked him at my place. He thanked me for the lovely evening and returned my car for good. The feeling was mutual.

Malam itu sebelum aku tidur, Imran message aku.

Imran > thxs 4 d lovely evening. Let's do it again.....<

Me > love too....<

Imran > good night my sayang..😍😍<

Me > love you Imran....good night.<

Credit to stripesuit and You Tube

I had to smile. Indeed it was a lovely evening.




 Note : Pictures and images are for illustration purpose only and are sources from Google. Pictures of food are from my own private collection.

Chapter 47 - Kisses Back

After I took my shower, I made myself a cup of hot chocolate and sat in bed. I browse pictures from my Bali trip. Such great time with Imran. It made me smile. The thought of spending some time with Imran could be beneficial to our relationship.The incident at KLCC still scared my ego....Yes, I do have an ego, too...not just men in general. Cuma kadang-kadang kita tak tunjuk sangat. Perempuan memang pandai menyorokkan perasaan mereka.....adakala makan hati berulam jantung.

Aku terpandang cincin di jariku......aku mengeluh. I don't know what is the meaning of this ring anymore. He looked sincere when he presented me with the ring. The feeling and the kisses really felt real...the yacht.....we sat and gaze at the stars....dinner....it was so good to be true....It was the best time I ever had...

I felt so special being in his arms.....how he held me tight, never wanting to let go of my hands and all the kisses he showered...... I touched my lips.....soft....yes, I remember.

Credit to MathewKomaVEVO and You Tube

The night I was at Imran's house, I heard voices coming from the living area. It was Imran and Mak Jah. I was in the kitchen preparing myself tea and ears drop their conversation. My jaw dropped when Imran said I was not the right fit for him. What was that supposed to mean...? His exact words of me were "Sikap keanak-anakan" and "cepat merajuk" Terguris perasaan aku dibuatnya. Hilang dahaga tekak aku bila mendengar his confession. But why now...? Why after he met Kristin.....?

I crept quietly back to my room......I cried and left his place that night...... An honorable man would not hurt his woman.

Sejak dari hari itu , aku agak tawar hati dengan sikap Imran. Walaupun he tried his best to reassured me that all is okay I am still not convinced. He was so laid back when I first met him. Know his way how to make me feel comfortable. He gave special attention to my needs. He is warm, respectful and he will always make time for me.  Always being realistic, like when we had problems within our relationship, we fix it. Otherwise it will accumulate bigger problems, which could end up in break-ups. Well, we almost been there.

These days finding a trustworthy and honest person is like finding a treasure. I couldn't find any fault with him......then,......until we return from Bali......I think he has changed.

I hate Bali! I close my laptop and lay in bed. Then why did I agree to go back to Bali with Imran?

Buzz....buzz.....buzz.....I pick up my cellphone. It was Emir. Apa pulak yang dia nak malam-malam buta ni.....

Emir : "Q...., belum tidor lagi?", he immediately asked. He was so sure that it was going to be me.

Me : "Soon as I'm done talking to you.....", I replied in away to annoy him.

Emir : "Alright.....I understand I am not your favorite person to talk to.....but I have a bad news....I am sorry...., I need to reschedule our date...", his words trying to tick me off.

Me : "Ok..., fine." I replied. Silence....

Emir : "So you suka lah kan....?", Emir is provoking the situation.

I just kept quiet.

Emir : "Well if you have nothing to say..., then I'll contact you in a few days time....", he affirmed.

Me : "Hmmm....okay...". Aku jawab acuh tak acuh.

Emir : Come on tell me.....is everything okay with you.....?", he wants to know.

Me : I'm okay. I'll wait for your call then...". And immediately hang up. Phew.....puas aku rasa dapat kenakan Emir this time. Baru dia tahu.....hmmmmm....serves him right!

I switched off the table lamp and my cellphone buzzed again. But this time it was my Face Time. And it was Emir again. Dalam kegelapan aku menjawab pangilan Face Time dari Emir.

Me : "Emir, I am so tired and I want to get some sleep. Can't whatever wait till tomorrow....?", aku merayu.

Emir : "I don't think so......what's bothering your mind....", he insisted. "Where are you....I can't see your face. Q, let me look at you.....", he demanded. Has always been.....his words or the highway.

I lazily turn the screen towards my face. "I'm here. You can see me now kan...? It's late and I nak tidur. I have to work tomorrow.....", aku cuba berlembut dengan nada manjaku.

Emir : "Okay....we called off the date .....for good. Nothing attached. How's that?", he suggested.

Me : "Bukan pasal our date. I mean if you had to postponed it, I can understand. I bukannya tak berhati perut. Don't you worry about me....I'll be fine.....Blue cap guy....", I made him belief that I was doing well.

Emir did not immediately reply.......I can hear he flipped his silver Zippo lighter and lit a cigarette. He took a puff and blew it out.....

Emir : "Alright, I belief you.....you know, I am here if you wanna talk....? Hmmmm......that sounds familiar.....that's right...! I remember clearly the girl who said that to me......,", he recalled.

I giggled......," Emir, thanks.....", I replied.

Emir : "Don't mentioned it.....I really mean it.....", he assured me.

Me : "I know.....good night Emir.....", I wish him.

Emir : "Okay, sleep well. Haaaa, boleh pun senyum.....you have a beautiful smile...I missed you....", he mellowed down the tone of his voice.

"Good night Emir......", and switched off Face Time. Suddenly, I was caught off guard. Did he say he missed me......? Immediately I hugged my cellphone and switched on back my Face Time. I'm, hoping he would call again......



Note : Pictures and images are for illustration purpose only and are sources from Google.

Chapter 46 - Fall Again

Setelah selesai majlis perkahwinan kembar....aku berkemas untuk pulang ke Kuala Lumpur. Setelah bersalaman dan mengucap terima kasih pada Pak Uda, Mak Uda dan saudara yang lain, aku meminta Hisyam untuk menghantar aku ke airport.

"Kak Q....? Abang Emir balik skali ka...?", Hisyam asked.

"Entahlar Hisyam.....dia tak dak britau kakak pun bila dia nak balik ke KL....", I replied.

"Okay lar kalau lagu tu...Hisyam hantaq kak Q sorang na....ke airport..." he said as he started the car engine running.

"Terima kasih banyak-banyak Hisyam.....", I responded.

3 hours later I arrive KLIA safely and grabbed an airport limo straight to Cyberjaya. My mobile phone beeped.....

>Hey you.....you left w/o telling me?<

It was Emir....made me smile.

 

Credit to Natasha K and You Tube

Me : >Sorry had to catch my plane<

Emir : > w/o saying goodbye....<

Me : >didn't know ur whereabout....<

Emir : >lame excuse...btw u free tonight?<

Me : >dont know need to check my calendar...are you already in KL?<

Emir : > uish.....ada calendar? busy nya? u owe dinner date...remember?<

Me : > of course I do....my calendar said Im free tomorrow night. U're up for it..?<

Emir : > Up for it....? u're on....meet me at The Eastin Hotel in PJ. They have a lounge area on the reception floor. It's on ur left as you entered the hotel. Just tell who you are and the manage will direct u to ur table. Wait there for me, okay?<

Me : > Pre-planned? u were so convinced that I will accept ur invitation, huh?<

Emir : >Not exactly.....but that sounded so cool, kan...? Meet me there....<

Me : >Well, it does sounded good....while it lasted....<

Emir : > Q, I'm serious....meet me there 8 p m sharp!<

Me : > menyampah.....very demanding.....you ingat you James Bond ke....?<

Emir : > Q.......?<

Me : > ok...ok....8 pm sharp lounge left eastin.....<

Emir : > good....be there.....if u r late even for one minute or not there, you owe me two dinner dates....Im sure you don't want that to happened....<

Me : > Okay.....! i'll be there.....<

Emir : > Excellent! Good night Q.<

Dan belum sempat aku membalas message nya, he went offline. Bastard!! Ergh! geram aku dibuatnya......

Soon as I got into my apartment, I called mom, then Khai and finally Imran.....tapi kenapa aku tak rasa excited...

Me : Hi Imran....? It me, Q. You're busy to talk now?", aku bertanya.

Imran : No...no....now is a good time. I'm glad you called. Need a short break from my meeting.....tell me...., how have you been....?", he asked.

Me : "Good....I'm good.....how bout you...?", aku jawab.

Imran : "Have been keeping myself busy. I missed you.....", dia berkata dengan lembut.

Me : "Me too.....", I replied and I know I was lying. "You're in a meeting for the business trip to Bali nanti ke?", I asked.

Imran : "Yeah....". He paused..."Would you like to go out sometime this week with me?", he asked.

Me : "Sure, I loved too.....", I answered. Can't have dinner tomorrow night. Have the stupid date with Emir...."How 'bout.....day after tomorrow?"

Imran : "Perfect! I'll pick you up around 8 and we'll have dinner...", he suggested.

Me : "I'm cool with that.....Look forward meeting you...", I responded.

Imran :"How's work....? They seems to keep you busy from me these days....", he inquired.

Me : "You know how it is....contracts, contracts, and more contracts....kadang-kadang nak pergi toilet pun fikir dua kali....", I laughed.

Imran : "I was at your bother's office the other day....".Oh my God please, please ......is he checking up on me?

Me : "Yeah......I haven't been to my dad's lately.....penat nak berulang alik ke KL and Cyberjaya....", I made excuses for my disappearance.

Imran : " I thought so......", he acknowledged.

Me : "Don't you have to continue with your meeting...?", I asked. A sign for me to end the conversation.....

Imran : "Yeah,.....(mengeluh)...".

Me : "Hey, kenapa ni....? Mengeluh......you are doing something good and you love what you're doing.....", aku memujuk Imran.

Imran : "Yeah....I should go.....Would you want to go back with me to Bali...?", he asked.

Apa harus aku jawab.....cuti lagi....?

Me : "How long will you be in Bali...?", aku bertanya Imran pula.....

Imran : " Not too long.....I have 3 meetings and we can spend the weekend there....?", his planned and he sound a bit lively.....

Me : "Alright, if you feel my presence will provide additional support to you.....I wanna come....give me the travel details and I will book the ticket......", I excitedly replied. Esok first thing in the morning aku kena apply leave.

Imran : "You don't need a ticket. Just come with your luggage  to the Subang Airport. I will forward you all details okay?", Imran explained.

Me : "Okay......I'll talk to you tomorrow....?", I said.

Imran : "Yes, definitely....good night and hey,....take care ya....", he reminded me.

Me : " Good night Imran and thank you.....", I replied. "Oh...! and don't work too hard...", I finished the conversation.

Imran laughed......






Note : Pictures and images are for illustration purpose only and are sources from Google.

Chapter 45 - Call Me, Maybe?

Suasana di sini nyaman sekali. Peaceful....and so serene. Selepas solat Subuh I decided to catch the sunrise.

Aku berjalan di tepi tali air. Terdengar desiran alunan air memecahkan sunyi sepi pagi. Sayup-sayup angin menghembus rambut aku but I love how it made me feel. Aku tergelak.

Tarian dahan-dahan kelapa sebagai mempersembahkan sebuah taridra. Aku hanya berdiri di sini dan tersenyum puas. I just want to feel and enjoy this moment. I know it can't never be the same again. Seronok sungguh aku rasakan....peluang kembali ke negeri jelapang padi. Pengalaman berada di tengah sawah dan bendang tak akan aku lupakan. Percikan air kedengaran dari ikan yang berenang mengejutkan aku dari khayalan.

Aku teringatkan Imran. Jejaka yang telah mencuri hati ini sesungguhnya menepati cita rasa. Tak kurang tak lebih. Very humble guy and husband material. Kami mempunyai kegemaran yang sama. Yes, I am fatally in love with him. Tapi Imran merasakan aku kebudak-budakan which I tend to be sometimes. Karakter itu aku terbawa-bawa....maklumlah aku satu-satunya anak perempuan didalam keluarga. Semestinya aku bersikap manja. But lately, I am sensing some strain in our relationship, like being suspicious towards him most times. Jealous? Who? Me!?

Until came blue cap No. 9 t-shirt guy.....aku merasakan masih banyak perkara yang harus aku terokai rather being tied down at young age. I glanced at my engagement ring. Pemberian berharga dari Imran.....dan memutar cincin itu ke kiri dan ke kanan jari aku.....Aku mengeluh. Suddenly this guy appeared out of the blue and he has been constantly in my mind. Kerap bertemu di taman permainan semasa beriadah.....tak pernah bertegur sapa. Sekadar membalas senyuman. Kemudian pertemuan yang tak di sangka di KL Central menuju ke utara membuahkan sebuah persahabatan yang complex. Itu perasaan aku saja and no pressure from anyone...he makes me come alive again.....

"Are you feeling what I'm feeling...?"

I turned around and saw Emir. Berkain pelikat dan kopiah. Aku tergelak melihat another sight of Emir. Far from the rugged jeans and worn t-shirt.

"What's so funny...?", he asked and looking not so happy at me. He walked closer and I stepped back.

"Nothing.....!", I answered and looked away. My right arm was pulled from behind. I did not resist....I said, "Okay....okay....It's just you look.....different....that's all...". And he let go of my arm but held on to my finger tips. Aku menarik dengan perlahan jejari aku sambil melirik ke arah Emir.

"Different ....macamana tu...", he asked as he stood next to me facing the paddy fields. His hands are in his pocket 'baju melayu'.

"I could never imagine you as a kain pelikat guy......", I replied. I turn to see his respond. He took off his kopiah, fold it and placed in his pocket.

"So, you have you been imagining me these days.....?" dia tiba-tiba tergelak dan memandang aku.

Aku memperbetulkan rambut dari menutupi muka aku yang dari tadi asyik di tiup angin. "Tak de lar....jangan nak perasan sangat.....I always see you as the tough, rugged guy in faded jeans....itu saja.....", aku jawab. Sekumpulan burung terbang melintasi pemandangan kami.

"Kita orang melayu...ikut resmi padi lah..." he replied. I did not look at him as I smiled to his respond. "Look...! matahari dah nak naik.....cantikkan...?", Emir menghampiri aku lalu menunding jari kearah langit. Kami terdiam sambil memerhatikan sinar matahari yang mula menonjolkan dirinya.

"Tak sangka ya.....kita related...?" I said.

"Yeah.....jauh perjalanan kita....tinggal berhampiran tapi tak pernah nak sapa each other and now we are somehow related.... hmmm...., how are we related...?", he asked. Aku tergelak melayan Emir.

Aku mengangkat bahu. "Entahlah....Pak Uda would know....", my guess.

"I better go back to the house and see if there's anything I can help around.", I told Emir. He grin at me....aku sekadar tersenyum.

"Q...", he called. I looked at him and raised my eyebrows. He stood close next to me in the opposite direction. Our shoulder rubbed against each other. He press his arms slightly on mine and he whispered,  "I suka dapat berkenalan dengan you...", as he moves back his head.

"Did you just made a passed at me....you are not serious, right?", I asked. He still stood next to me.

"What if I did....? Tak salahkan?", he sounds convincing.

I face his side of the body. That moment my attention was diverted when I saw Mak Uda was looking at both of us from a distance. "Don't turn....Mak Uda is staring at us.", aku melambai-lambaikan tangan ke arah Mak Uda. I do not want to create suspicion in her mind. Mak Uda membalas lambaianku dan berlalu masuk ke pintu utama rumah.

As I stood there, "Emir,.....I am engaged. So I rasa it's not appropriate to talk to me that way...", I explained.

"I know.....but don't you think you should get out of your shell and date other guys instead of  tying yourself down the first guy you like? You always discredit yourself.. You are beautiful inside and out and I really meant it. I mean......I like to ask you out sometime....", he stood still and replied calmly.

Credit to Luis Miguel Chacon Marin and You Tube

I was speechless for a few seconds. "You? Asking me out....? Ghezzz you surely are very direct Emir. You give me adrenaline rush because being with you....., I just don't know what to expect. One minute you are friendly and suddenly you just change to the moody bastard you have always been......Having you as a husband.....I pity each and every one of your ex-wives. They had to endure your fluctuate tempremental on daily basis.......", I voice out my opinion of him.

He turn to face me. His face was red......Before he could say anything......."You can't intimidate me, Emir......", so I added.

There, I said to his face. I let go all the things I've bottled up for so long. I stared at him as he was staring at me too. Then it made me think.....about he said......Why not? He's right....why shouldn't I meet other guys.....? Why not give him a chance? I was thinking to myself. Ishhhh.......tak baik aku buat Imran macam ni. But we are not officially engaged.....if he can meet his old girl friend, why shouldn't I? He doesn't own me.....lagi pun Emir dan aku ada pertalian saudara.....

Aku memberanikan diri......"Okay.....,one dinner and that's all....", I was stern when I replied and I don't want to think any more. Let's go spur of the moment kind of thing.... I don't have to enjoy it but just to get him off my back..

I saw his smile.....a smile of satisfaction....of getting things his way....."That's all I'm asking......that's all I'm asking, Q....", he replied.

He put his right hand on my shoulder. "Your words were subtle and painfully struck my heart. I'll prove you I am not the son of a bitch you thought I was.". He was serious.

"My flight is this evening back to KL. So, you have my number.....call me, maybe?", I annouced and walkaway.....my finale.


Note : Pictures and images are for illustration purpose only and are sources from Google.

Chapter 44 - One in a Million....

“Let me have a look at your ring…”, Emir asked.

“Kenapa…?”, I asked him back. I was a little bit hesitant.

“Saja nak tengok….tak kan tak boleh kot….”, replied. He looked at me impatiently.

“Nah….”, I said and slide the ring out from my finger. Emir took it. Dia membelek-belek cincin aku. He looked at me and then look at the ring again.

“Lucky you. He must be filthy rich. An engagement ring like this must have cost him anything from 10-15K…hmmm....kalau cincin kahwin nanti mesti lagi mahal......”, Emir gave his estimation.

“Seriously…?, I responded. “I did not expect this ring to be that expensive….”. Emir menghulurkan kembali cincin kepada aku. Aku menyambut lalu menyarung semula ke jari.

“He must love you very much. But I am sensing a problem here…..”, he was testing me. Dia menyedut air Coca Cola.

Aku dapat rasakan muka aku membahang. Why is he so interested to know about my personal life. 

“Problem…? Tak ada lah….dalam each relationship biasalah kalau perselisihan faham once in a while. But everything dah resolved…but thank you for your concern. I really appreciate it…”, I replied.

“Then kenapa you travel alone ke Kedah….?”, he asked.

“Well for one, I have tomorrow’s wedding to attend and secondly I need to rekindle my relationship dengan Kedah side of the family. Anyway, time apart for us would do some good.” I explained.

 

“So….what happened between you and .....erk.....Kedah family? Sounded serious saja…?”, he continued to asked more question.

Phewwww......for a moment there I thought he wanted to know about my relationship with Imran. “You ni so nosy kan…..semua benda you nak tahu….okay let’s make a deal. I cerita hal I then you cerita pasal your failed marriage….is it because of tak ada anak ke….?”, aku pulak menyibuk akan hal peribadi Emir…..

“Hmmmm…..you pun sama busy body…..”, he replied. “Ok,….I tak kisah nak ceritakah hal I pada you. Then kalau you nak sampaikan pada Mak Uda pun I tak kisah. Maybe she should know the truth rather than making assumptions about my marriage.”

Credit to BOSSONOFFICIAL and You Tube

"Ok? It's truth or dare time, woman...", he said.

"Alright....truth.", I replied with confidence. I lean against the car seat facing him. "My mom is a Siamese and my father was from Kedah. When I was very small both of them died in a plane crash on the way back to Malaysia." I confessed.

Emir memalingkan mukanya. "Come one you're shitting me right....I thought we agreed with the truth...", he thought I was fooling around.

"What? You think I'm jerking you off...? Okay....let me continue I was an only child. I was adopted later by my late father's ex-business partner, whom is my dad now. Ever since then hubungan I and keluarga di Kedah renggang."  explained further.

I smiled and that didn't make Emir convinced about my past. "I have never heard of you being mentioned before within this family. Tiba-tiba I found a long lost relative.....macam jejak kasih pulak..", he wanted reassurance.

"I guess it must have been taboo...initially they were not happy Tok Ki agreed to give me away. Please don't get them wrong....they thought my late father left a lot of money. I mean he had lots but he was in the brink of bankrupt after his new business partner played my father out. Maybe it could be a burden for them to take care of me since there was no money.Ialah mereka pun bukannya orang senang.....but I had a trust fund which is being looked after by my dad....new dad.", I elaborated.

"Wow....trust fund huh...first time I jumpa someone with a trust fund....loaded lah you ni ya...", he assumed. He then switch the conversation, "It's kind of getting late...nanti Mak Uda risau pulak about you....maklumlah rich girl from the city....nanti takut kena kidnap bawak pi sempadan...". He tried to intimidate me again.

I replied, "Whatever lah.....I am not rich dan don't consider myself as one....only fortunate......just happened that my late father made a wise investment for my future...at least I kept my end of the bargain in this game. Unlike you.....Okay lah let's head back home. I'm tired and tomorrow is going to be a long day......Jumpa relatives and all.....in my mind, I dah boleh imagine they will definitely asked....Bila hang nak kahwin...?", I giggled. Emir tersenyum sambil menggelengkan kepala.

"You know what, I'm starting to like you....a lot.....because you are so smart...", he said sambil mengusik hidung aku.

Aku mengelak....but then I laughed. "So what's your story....?", I asked.

Emir started the car engine and said, "Nantilah.....". I took it as he is not ready to share his personal life with me. He looked depressed and stressed out.

"Ok....I am here, tau....", I replied and try to give hims some space.

"I know.....", he smiled and winked at me.

Emir.....you're one in a million.........




Note : Pictures and images are for illustration purpose only and are sources from Google.