Chapter 49 - Jangan

It has been three days since I spoke to Emir and something has gone very wrong with him recently. I did not try to interfere since he said he'll call me for the new dinner date appointment. So I kept on with my usual routine and try to concentrate more on my relationship with Imran. Once I fulfilled Emir's dinner date, the sooner I can get on with my life.

Tonight I switched off my cellphone. I have prepared dinner. And I invited Abang Ngah for dinner. At least I owe him this much. I must face him.

Around eight, he arrived with some flowers and a bar of Lindt Macadamia chocolate. Pandai nak ambil hati aku. Hati aku cair secair chocolate.......

Aku bertanyakan khabarnya lalu menjemput duduk. "Please have a seat. I have cook up something new which I saw on You Tube. Gordon Ramsey's Shephard's pie. I hope you'll like it...". I immediately serve shrimp cocktail for our entre.

"So.....what's going on with you, Q? You have not been avoiding me, have you?", Kasyaf asked. He took a gulp of water.

Aku memandang Abang Ngah. "In a way.....yes. I have been avoiding you.", there I've said. There was a huge surprised look on his face.

Abang Ngah placed his fork on his plate and wiped both sides of his mouth. "Have you....?", he deliberately asked again. "Do you have any problem with me....?". He looked at me, hard.

"Yes, I have been avoiding you. Tonight I want to come clean with you. Please hear me out....", I said clearly.

"Okay, I'm listening...", he replied sambil menganggukkan kepala.

"Alright.....hhaaa......abang ngah, you have been going around telling people that we are engaged. And we're not. Get that clearly okay abang ngah. Kita adik beradik whether you can accept it or not. I need you to understand that it is impossible for us to get married. I have met someone and have been seeing him for almost a year.", I told him off.

He lifted his fork and took a bite of the shrimp. "...so you kept it a secret from me all this time....? Why Q....", he asked.

I haven't touch my food and just stared at it. Abang Ngah suddenly slammed his hand on the table and it shook the tall glass placed next to his plate. "Who is this guy....that you are seeing? Do I know him....?", another question directed to me. "You make me look like a fool....you know that....!". He was pissed off.

Aku memberanikan diri melawan abang ngah. "You are being ridiculous....telling your friends we are engaged to be married. You make ME look like a fool, too......You tak malu ke....people know we are brother and sister.", I stressed the main issue in hand and not who is the guy I'm going out with.

"You are so sure that we are related...", he was being cynical about our relationship. "So.....are you a doctor now? You didn't come out of my mother's womb.....I saw she brought you back from....from ...that ....old man who abandoned you because your of....the death of your parents and had no money....!".

"Thank you for the reminder....", I said.

"Well, you brought it on to yourself....", he fired back at me.

"Abang ngah......, I have clarified with daddy and mommy. Kalau tak percaya, malam ni jugak kita boleh pergi jumpa mommy....untuk dapatkan kepastian.....", I insist. Now I stared directly at him.

"I've spent my entire life taking care of you...protecting you....I've been there for you...good times and bad times....I have sacrifice so much and this is the thanks I get....?", he raised his voice.

"Ohh....Jadi Q kena balas balik lah semua jasa abang ngah .....dengan mengahwini my own abang....? Yes, Q sedar Q ni anak pungut....you do not have to remind me. I am grateful to your family for raising an orphan and was given a second lease of life......Q ingat selama ni abang sayangkan Q because you care so much for your little sister........Come on la.....abang ngah be rational and grow up for once and for all. You are my brother just like abang long and abang chik....kenapa abang ngah ada perasaan cinta terhadap Q.....there are so many other women out there waiting for you.....Q tak pernah ada perasaan cinta sebagai seorang kekasih terhadap abang ngah. Jadi let's move on.....", I sternly replied.

"Dasar perempuan yang tak sedar di untung!", he snapped at me and stood up....his face was so red....

At this point I felt my safety was a little threatened. Then I stood up too. "Abang Ngah.....sit down....let's be civilized....nothing you say can change my feelings towards you.....I want to apologized if in any way,.....all this while if I may have mislead your feelings......please...., let's sit and eat our dinner....", aku memujuknya.

Dia duduk kembali lalu mengangkat garpu. Sambil menyucuk sayur dalam pinggannya, "I thought to love me....", he uttered.

"Of course I love you but sayang seorang adik terhadap abangnya. Itu saja.....", I said. "Q, tak boleh tangguh lagi perkara ini. I have to clear the air. Now that I am in a 'relationship' I need to put this....you and I.....behind,.....in the past. I will always respect you Abang Ngah. Yes I owe you a lot but please don't force our love to go beyond what is concede. I am tired of running away from you, abang ngah.......hiding from you and ignoring your presence. I want things to be normal. Can I count on you......abang ngah?", I was practically pleading.

His eyes was still fixed on the plate of salad. "Abang ngah......can I count on you.....?", I asked him again. He looked up.....and I can see tears welled up in his eyes.....

"Abang ngah.....please don't.....please don't cry.......you are making me feeling guilty......", I said and aku tiba-tiba sebak.

"You should.....feel guilty.....I hope for the rest of your life. This guy......you're seeing......it won't last!.......then I want to see you crawl back to me....!", he expressed his anger. He stood up and grabbed his jacket before slamming my door......

Well, it went well.....didn't it? 

After the commotion with Abang Ngah....I lost my appetite....Lazy to clean up the dishes of untouched food, I lay on the couch and start sobbing. Should I call mom and dad? Maybe they can put some sense into abang ngah.

I grabbed my cellphone on the coffee table. There were 2 missed calls. Emir?? 8:15pm and 8:20pm....I redial the last number and it was ringing....

The moment someone pick up the phone I could hear loud music in the background. A mixture of men and women's voices perhaps at a party or discotheque..."Hello.....", I called.

Then I heard a familiar voice.....It was Emir's....."Hey, what's up", he asked. Sounds like him but I couldn't exactly say it was him.

"Did you call me earlier tonight...?", I raised my voice and was already sitting upright on the couch. Pressing the cellphone closer and closer to my ears....."Emir? Is that you....? Why did you call me....?", I asked him back.

"Hello....?", he said again....I can hear women laughing......

Credit to MarianJolaVEVO and You Tube

And I hang up..................pergi mampuslah......







 Note : Pictures and images are for illustration purpose only and are sources from Google.

Chapter 48 - Starting Over Again....?

Emir never did call me back.....

Two nights later I went out with Imran. He came all the way from KL to Cyberjaya for our date.....He picked me up at eight o'clock as I summoned the guard to let Imran through. I took a flight of stairs and waited on the foyer....He brought my baby home...

I didn't wait for him to get out of the car. Instead I walked calmly to the car and let myself in. I lean towards Imran and gave him a kiss on his cheeks....he was caught by surprise by my reaction. "Hello there.....wow.....I missed you too very much....", he replied and kiss me back. He squeeze my fingers. He smells so good.....Eternity by Calvin Kline....rustic but contemporary. I smiled broadly.

We went to The Steakhouse at Shaftsbury for dinner. As we were seated, the server left us with book of menus. We sat opposite each other. "Wow, this is fancy.....ada special occasion ke?", I asked and smiled at him. "I would just settle for fastfood...", aku mengusik Imran.

He laughed. "Of course special occasion.....I love spending time with you...I have never stopped loving you, Q".....He looked directly at me. I lift my hands to reach for his. He have a light squeeze.

"I know....", I said and looked directly in to his eyes. Aku tunduk malu.....

Dinner was good and the food is exquisitely presented. I had Trio Ribs which was cooked 3 ways while Imran had Steak with mushroom and mash potatoes on the side.

Half way through dinner Imran started a more serious conversation about our relationship.

"I would like to meet your parents one of these days.....can you introduce them to me.....?", he asked.

"Seriously....?", I was a bit surprised with his request. "Yeah sure.....I like that....very much....but...", I answered.

"Oh oh.....there's a but.....", he responded to my unfinished line.."You think it's not the right time....? I understand....", was his immediate assumption.

"No that's is not the issue.....the truth is.....I have this one other matter. Once I dah resolve this matter I will introduce you to my parents. By the way, they like you.....I 've told them about you and shown pictures of you. I don't see any objection from their side....of you and me....", I explained. "Nothing to worry about.....", I added.

Imran laughed...."What do you mean mean I have nothing to worry about....? Of course I'm worried.....nanti orang lain masuk line and terus pinang you....I yang gigit jari nanti.....", he relied. Aku hanya tersengih sahaja...

"....and you showed them pictures of me....?", his laughed changed to giggle. "Segan pulak rasanya....", he said.

"Showed my mom the ring you gave me. She said it's gorgeous and, I might add...she asked when can they meet with you?", I told him....That made him smile.

"And this other matter you said......does it involved Kasyaf?", he asked. "Look at me.....Q,....Is it Kasyaff....?", he asked again.

Basically I have two matters and not one. Kasyaf being one of it. The main issue which has been lingering in my mind was the conversation I heard between Imran and Mak Jah. Is that something I should bring up tonight......?

"Imran....that is something I have to deal myself. Kasyaf is my problem. I don't want it ended as a cold war. I love him, Imran. But as a brother. I want you to understand that....I have no other passionate feelings towards him.....THAT he needs to realize too...", I replied.

"I may have misled him in some ways sampai dia boleh ada perassan cinta towards me....All this time he was the only guy I trusted and reply upon. I always hangout with his group of friends,...with him of course. I never push him went he grabbed my waist or when he kissed me. He will always be there wherever I go....until....I met you....", lagi sekali aku avoid eye contact. Aku tunduk memandang tangan aku yang aku genggam rapi di atas peha.

"Q..., look at me....", he said. I looked up. Imran got up and came over to my side and held my hands. "Understood.....I don't want to loose you ever......I want to be the first one to tell your parents that I am in love with their daughter and I come asking permission for your hand in marriage." he finished.

I was still looking at Imran. Aku tiba-tiba sebak dengan kata-katanya....dengan tidak semena-mena air mata aku mengalir di hujung mata kiri.....Aku pantas mengelap airmata dengan jari. "I'm flattered.....and touch by your words....that means a lot to me....", I replied. Imran hands cupped my face....while his thumbs caresses my soft cheeks. "I LOVE YOU...", and he whispered.

I immediately grabbed his arms....I would have kissed him there and then.....I could. I stopped myself when I saw the server came toward us with our dessert. The server left soon as he has placed the plates in front of us. "I love you too, Imran...", I whispered back at him. He giggled. I lightly bush my arms against his arm.....to hide my embarrassment.

"Come let's finished up our dessert and I send you back home.....I wish to take you home with me for good the next time we meet.....", he suggested. I replied,..."Imran....", dengan memukul manja on his arm.

That was a wonderful dinner. Imran's friend, Lokman picked him at my place. He thanked me for the lovely evening and returned my car for good. The feeling was mutual.

Malam itu sebelum aku tidur, Imran message aku.

Imran > thxs 4 d lovely evening. Let's do it again.....<

Me > love too....<

Imran > good night my sayang..😍😍<

Me > love you Imran....good night.<

Credit to stripesuit and You Tube

I had to smile. Indeed it was a lovely evening.




 Note : Pictures and images are for illustration purpose only and are sources from Google. Pictures of food are from my own private collection.

Chapter 47 - Kisses Back

After I took my shower, I made myself a cup of hot chocolate and sat in bed. I browse pictures from my Bali trip. Such great time with Imran. It made me smile. The thought of spending some time with Imran could be beneficial to our relationship.The incident at KLCC still scared my ego....Yes, I do have an ego, too...not just men in general. Cuma kadang-kadang kita tak tunjuk sangat. Perempuan memang pandai menyorokkan perasaan mereka.....adakala makan hati berulam jantung.

Aku terpandang cincin di jariku......aku mengeluh. I don't know what is the meaning of this ring anymore. He looked sincere when he presented me with the ring. The feeling and the kisses really felt real...the yacht.....we sat and gaze at the stars....dinner....it was so good to be true....It was the best time I ever had...

I felt so special being in his arms.....how he held me tight, never wanting to let go of my hands and all the kisses he showered...... I touched my lips.....soft....yes, I remember.

Credit to MathewKomaVEVO and You Tube

The night I was at Imran's house, I heard voices coming from the living area. It was Imran and Mak Jah. I was in the kitchen preparing myself tea and ears drop their conversation. My jaw dropped when Imran said I was not the right fit for him. What was that supposed to mean...? His exact words of me were "Sikap keanak-anakan" and "cepat merajuk" Terguris perasaan aku dibuatnya. Hilang dahaga tekak aku bila mendengar his confession. But why now...? Why after he met Kristin.....?

I crept quietly back to my room......I cried and left his place that night...... An honorable man would not hurt his woman.

Sejak dari hari itu , aku agak tawar hati dengan sikap Imran. Walaupun he tried his best to reassured me that all is okay I am still not convinced. He was so laid back when I first met him. Know his way how to make me feel comfortable. He gave special attention to my needs. He is warm, respectful and he will always make time for me.  Always being realistic, like when we had problems within our relationship, we fix it. Otherwise it will accumulate bigger problems, which could end up in break-ups. Well, we almost been there.

These days finding a trustworthy and honest person is like finding a treasure. I couldn't find any fault with him......then,......until we return from Bali......I think he has changed.

I hate Bali! I close my laptop and lay in bed. Then why did I agree to go back to Bali with Imran?

Buzz....buzz.....buzz.....I pick up my cellphone. It was Emir. Apa pulak yang dia nak malam-malam buta ni.....

Emir : "Q...., belum tidor lagi?", he immediately asked. He was so sure that it was going to be me.

Me : "Soon as I'm done talking to you.....", I replied in away to annoy him.

Emir : "Alright.....I understand I am not your favorite person to talk to.....but I have a bad news....I am sorry...., I need to reschedule our date...", his words trying to tick me off.

Me : "Ok..., fine." I replied. Silence....

Emir : "So you suka lah kan....?", Emir is provoking the situation.

I just kept quiet.

Emir : "Well if you have nothing to say..., then I'll contact you in a few days time....", he affirmed.

Me : "Hmmm....okay...". Aku jawab acuh tak acuh.

Emir : Come on tell me.....is everything okay with you.....?", he wants to know.

Me : I'm okay. I'll wait for your call then...". And immediately hang up. Phew.....puas aku rasa dapat kenakan Emir this time. Baru dia tahu.....hmmmmm....serves him right!

I switched off the table lamp and my cellphone buzzed again. But this time it was my Face Time. And it was Emir again. Dalam kegelapan aku menjawab pangilan Face Time dari Emir.

Me : "Emir, I am so tired and I want to get some sleep. Can't whatever wait till tomorrow....?", aku merayu.

Emir : "I don't think so......what's bothering your mind....", he insisted. "Where are you....I can't see your face. Q, let me look at you.....", he demanded. Has always been.....his words or the highway.

I lazily turn the screen towards my face. "I'm here. You can see me now kan...? It's late and I nak tidur. I have to work tomorrow.....", aku cuba berlembut dengan nada manjaku.

Emir : "Okay....we called off the date .....for good. Nothing attached. How's that?", he suggested.

Me : "Bukan pasal our date. I mean if you had to postponed it, I can understand. I bukannya tak berhati perut. Don't you worry about me....I'll be fine.....Blue cap guy....", I made him belief that I was doing well.

Emir did not immediately reply.......I can hear he flipped his silver Zippo lighter and lit a cigarette. He took a puff and blew it out.....

Emir : "Alright, I belief you.....you know, I am here if you wanna talk....? Hmmmm......that sounds familiar.....that's right...! I remember clearly the girl who said that to me......,", he recalled.

I giggled......," Emir, thanks.....", I replied.

Emir : "Don't mentioned it.....I really mean it.....", he assured me.

Me : "I know.....good night Emir.....", I wish him.

Emir : "Okay, sleep well. Haaaa, boleh pun senyum.....you have a beautiful smile...I missed you....", he mellowed down the tone of his voice.

"Good night Emir......", and switched off Face Time. Suddenly, I was caught off guard. Did he say he missed me......? Immediately I hugged my cellphone and switched on back my Face Time. I'm, hoping he would call again......



Note : Pictures and images are for illustration purpose only and are sources from Google.

Chapter 46 - Fall Again

Setelah selesai majlis perkahwinan kembar....aku berkemas untuk pulang ke Kuala Lumpur. Setelah bersalaman dan mengucap terima kasih pada Pak Uda, Mak Uda dan saudara yang lain, aku meminta Hisyam untuk menghantar aku ke airport.

"Kak Q....? Abang Emir balik skali ka...?", Hisyam asked.

"Entahlar Hisyam.....dia tak dak britau kakak pun bila dia nak balik ke KL....", I replied.

"Okay lar kalau lagu tu...Hisyam hantaq kak Q sorang na....ke airport..." he said as he started the car engine running.

"Terima kasih banyak-banyak Hisyam.....", I responded.

3 hours later I arrive KLIA safely and grabbed an airport limo straight to Cyberjaya. My mobile phone beeped.....

>Hey you.....you left w/o telling me?<

It was Emir....made me smile.

 

Credit to Natasha K and You Tube

Me : >Sorry had to catch my plane<

Emir : > w/o saying goodbye....<

Me : >didn't know ur whereabout....<

Emir : >lame excuse...btw u free tonight?<

Me : >dont know need to check my calendar...are you already in KL?<

Emir : > uish.....ada calendar? busy nya? u owe dinner date...remember?<

Me : > of course I do....my calendar said Im free tomorrow night. U're up for it..?<

Emir : > Up for it....? u're on....meet me at The Eastin Hotel in PJ. They have a lounge area on the reception floor. It's on ur left as you entered the hotel. Just tell who you are and the manage will direct u to ur table. Wait there for me, okay?<

Me : > Pre-planned? u were so convinced that I will accept ur invitation, huh?<

Emir : >Not exactly.....but that sounded so cool, kan...? Meet me there....<

Me : >Well, it does sounded good....while it lasted....<

Emir : > Q, I'm serious....meet me there 8 p m sharp!<

Me : > menyampah.....very demanding.....you ingat you James Bond ke....?<

Emir : > Q.......?<

Me : > ok...ok....8 pm sharp lounge left eastin.....<

Emir : > good....be there.....if u r late even for one minute or not there, you owe me two dinner dates....Im sure you don't want that to happened....<

Me : > Okay.....! i'll be there.....<

Emir : > Excellent! Good night Q.<

Dan belum sempat aku membalas message nya, he went offline. Bastard!! Ergh! geram aku dibuatnya......

Soon as I got into my apartment, I called mom, then Khai and finally Imran.....tapi kenapa aku tak rasa excited...

Me : Hi Imran....? It me, Q. You're busy to talk now?", aku bertanya.

Imran : No...no....now is a good time. I'm glad you called. Need a short break from my meeting.....tell me...., how have you been....?", he asked.

Me : "Good....I'm good.....how bout you...?", aku jawab.

Imran : "Have been keeping myself busy. I missed you.....", dia berkata dengan lembut.

Me : "Me too.....", I replied and I know I was lying. "You're in a meeting for the business trip to Bali nanti ke?", I asked.

Imran : "Yeah....". He paused..."Would you like to go out sometime this week with me?", he asked.

Me : "Sure, I loved too.....", I answered. Can't have dinner tomorrow night. Have the stupid date with Emir...."How 'bout.....day after tomorrow?"

Imran : "Perfect! I'll pick you up around 8 and we'll have dinner...", he suggested.

Me : "I'm cool with that.....Look forward meeting you...", I responded.

Imran :"How's work....? They seems to keep you busy from me these days....", he inquired.

Me : "You know how it is....contracts, contracts, and more contracts....kadang-kadang nak pergi toilet pun fikir dua kali....", I laughed.

Imran : "I was at your bother's office the other day....".Oh my God please, please ......is he checking up on me?

Me : "Yeah......I haven't been to my dad's lately.....penat nak berulang alik ke KL and Cyberjaya....", I made excuses for my disappearance.

Imran : " I thought so......", he acknowledged.

Me : "Don't you have to continue with your meeting...?", I asked. A sign for me to end the conversation.....

Imran : "Yeah,.....(mengeluh)...".

Me : "Hey, kenapa ni....? Mengeluh......you are doing something good and you love what you're doing.....", aku memujuk Imran.

Imran : "Yeah....I should go.....Would you want to go back with me to Bali...?", he asked.

Apa harus aku jawab.....cuti lagi....?

Me : "How long will you be in Bali...?", aku bertanya Imran pula.....

Imran : " Not too long.....I have 3 meetings and we can spend the weekend there....?", his planned and he sound a bit lively.....

Me : "Alright, if you feel my presence will provide additional support to you.....I wanna come....give me the travel details and I will book the ticket......", I excitedly replied. Esok first thing in the morning aku kena apply leave.

Imran : "You don't need a ticket. Just come with your luggage  to the Subang Airport. I will forward you all details okay?", Imran explained.

Me : "Okay......I'll talk to you tomorrow....?", I said.

Imran : "Yes, definitely....good night and hey,....take care ya....", he reminded me.

Me : " Good night Imran and thank you.....", I replied. "Oh...! and don't work too hard...", I finished the conversation.

Imran laughed......






Note : Pictures and images are for illustration purpose only and are sources from Google.