Chapter 58 - Tak Pernah Hilang

"Sayang, it's almost 2 am....I'll take you home...hmmm....ok? It's closing time...." Emir asked.


Aku mengangguk dan membetulkan rambut dan baju. Aku menarik handbag lalu mengeluarkan purse. "No...don't worry about the bill. I have taken care of it....", Emir respond. He held his hand out. Without hesitation aku menghulurkan tangan yang kini di genggam erat oleh Emir.


I smiled. "Siapa kata I nak bayar....? Oh...you ingat I nak keluarkan purse.....? Memang pun you yang patut bayar....", I responded cynically.


"Oh...? So you kenakan I lah ni....? Smart of you, huh...?", he replied. Emir menyentap lengan aku. Aku memaling pandang ke arah Emir lalu menjelirkan lidah sambil mencebik. Dia hanya tersenyum memerhatikan tingkah laku aku.


As we walked down the steps, "Kat mana you parked your car...", he questioned.


"Ada di depan tu...", I told him and pointed my finger towards across the street.


Emir lit up a cigarette on one hand and he held on my hand with the other. We walked to my car. "Give me your keys. I'll drive you home....", he said. Tanpa berlenggah aku menghulurkan kunci kereta. Once unlocked he opened the passenger side door and help me in.

Credit to You Tube and Seventeen Eleven Music

As the engine started running, I switched on the radio sambil mencari station yang sesuai dengan mood aku malam ni. Then I heard Kaer's voice and lean back on the car seat.


"Wow...I didn't realized you suka dengar lagu-lagu melayu....I ingat orang macam you cuma suka lagu Inggeris...", he said.


"Is that how you view me? Melayu yang tak sedar diri....? Macam tu...?", I felt hurt by his remarks.


"No...no...no...don't get me wrong.....", he tried explaining.


I twist my body towards him. "Then tell me how should I not get you wrong? I melayu so I jugak suka lagu-lagu melayu. Tak ada yang pelik?", aku merapu.


"I am sorry....my line of question tadi tak betul.....I tak kata you salah pun. Cuma persepsi saya saja. Kalau saya yang terlepas kata, saya minta maaf. Ok....you, me..., kalau jumpa mesti nak bergaduh.....kan?", Emir apologized.


"Next time...think before you speak....you are just so mean to me....apa yang you dapat kalau you successfully sakitkan hati I?", I answered back. I immediately switched off the radio.


"Why did you do that....kan lagu tengah best...", he said and switched on back the radio.


Aku malas melayan kerenah Emir. I closed my eyes and pretended to fall a sleep. Emir was silent as he drove into the night....


"Q....? Q..., we're here.........", Emir menepuk peha aku perlahan. Aku terjaga. "We're here already..?", aku bertanya sambil memerhatikan sekeliling. "Hmmm....this is not Cyberjaya. Where am I?", I asked him.


"We're at my place....you tertidur tadi. I don't exactly know where you live and tak sampai hati nak kejut you to ask direction. I takut nanti I kena marah....so I drove straight to my apartment.", he replied.


Aku terkedu dan tak berkata apa-apa.


As we passed the security check point I noticed a huge signage. Lanson Place Service Residence. He drove straight, found a parking spot and parked my car.


As I stepped out of the car I accidently bumped into him. "Sorry, I was about to open to door for you...", he said. I looked up at him and smile...."Thank you....", I uttered. "Sunyi saja......?", I said. He smiled.


"Come, let me show you my place....", he responded.


We reached 3rd floor and the elevator door opened. Emir memimpin tangan aku seolah excited untuk menunjukkan apartment tempat tinggalnya. Aku hanya mengekori Emir.

"This is it....we're here.", sambil dia membuka pintu. "You can rest and kalau you nak tidur dulu pun boleh. I have a guest room.


Masuk saja ke ruang tamu, Emir berkata, "Nak minum pun boleh...., tea perhaps. I could offer coffee but we had too much of it tonight....nanti high on caffeine pulak...", he offered.


"It's okay Emir. It's almost three in the morning. Maybe it's better for me to get home....", I replied.


"Q, it's late and not save for you to drive alone at this hour. Rest here. I won't bother you. You go a head and clean up and make yourself feel at home, ok? Wait here. I'll bring you fresh towel and spare t-shirt and cotton pants to change into....". He disappeared and came back in a flash. He handed me a towel and changing clothes.


"But Emir....", I resist.


He came closer and had both hands at the side of my face. "Listen, don't argue with me. Have a good sleep and when you wake up fresh, you nak balik....I will not stop you....I will in the room down the hall if you need me.....", and he kissed on my forehead.


Aku mengikut saja.....terpukau dengan pujukan Emir. "But you kejut I around eight, boleh?", I asked.


"Ok....eight it is...", he replied.


He led me to the guest room. Emir turned and I hugged him. "Thanks Emir for your hospitality....maaf menyusahkan you saja....", I said.


"No worries....for you..., anytime....", he replied and kissed my hand. "Sweet dreams..."

Note : Pictures and images are for illustration purpose only and are sources from Google

Chapter 57 - Almost Blue

"Don't be ridiculous. You are part of this family. Daddy tak pernah membeza-bezakan antara ke empat-empat anak daddy. Kasyaff...! watch your mouth!", daddy warned Abang Ngah.


I stayed calm. Walaupun jantung aku bagai di siat-siat. Pipi aku membahang panas. Yes....I wanted to burst out crying. Tak ada siapa dapat rasakan perasaan aku sekarang. Aku mendonggakkan muka aku. I am trying my best to control tears from spilling. I stood up and smile.....


"Sekarang Q tahu kedudukan Q di pandangan Abang Ngah.", and I turned to daddy. "Daddy, I will take your challenge. Q nak lead HR Department and I want to learn about architecture. Please consider my request....I am not going anywhere. Hans & Hans Architecture and Design is mine too, as much as it is yours!", I gave my assurance and pointed at Abang Ngah. My right arm is on my hips.


Abang Ngah who has been leaning against daddy's glass table, looked down at his feet. "Yeah....whatever....", he mumbled.


Uncle Ikram stepped closer and put his right arm around my shoulder. "It will take time to adjust but I am sure you will be phenomenal...", he tried to comfort me. As he rubbed my arms and continued, "As long as I have known your father since our younger years, I assured you all berempat memang adik beradik.". He looked at Abang Ngah. "Kasyaff, enough of this nonsense. You all have work together for another successful year. Okay, listen....you guys must come to our kenduri doa selamat on New Year's eve at my house. Jangan gaduh-gaduh lagi. Kita patut bersyukur sebab diberikan rezeki dan kesihatan yang baik.", he tried to calm the moment. He kissed me on my head as he towered six inches from me. "I will get Junaidah to deliver the invitation.", he said.


"Thanks Uncle...", aku jawab dengan manja. He gave me another squeeze. I hugged him. "I have got to go nanti your Aunty pergi buat missing person report pulak kalau Uncle balik lambat. Kasyaff you must come ya....no excuses." as we walked to wards daddy. "Lid you and wife....come tau.....", he finally said.


"Yes...yes...yes...insya Allah Ram....", both shook hands and hugged each other.


Soon after Uncle Ikram left, I headed home. Penat sungguh otak aku. Recalling scenarios after scenarios membuat perasaan aku bercampur baur. Can I held two position at the same time? 


I decided to turn my car to Damansara Utama. I heard of a place called Whiskey Bar and it receive great reviews. It has a great ambiance and rich in selection of whiskies. Their pan seared scallops in ponzu teriyaki sauce are supposed to be very tasty. It is said this bar is the quintessential hidden bar. Just what I need, a quiet place, a drink and my I Phone.


I found a parking spot. After about 10 minutes walk I found my way on the second floor of a nondescript shop lot. Mula-mula aku macam sesat. You may have to do a bit of searching.


I stepped into the bar. I found a cozy corner with couches & dim lighting. Took my seat and immediately attended by a server. I was given a warm towel and ordered my drinks. Jazzy music was playing in the background as the server left me alone. Aku mebelek-belek mobile phone aku.

Credit to Tim Trzoska and You Tube

Selang beberapa minit.....the waiter cameback......or so I thought.


"Thank you. Just put it next to my handbag..", I told the server. It was odd that he stood still. So I looked up.


"Just put it....", I pause. It wasn't the server.


"I saw you walking from across the street and decided to follow you. It's late and a single woman alone at this time, entering a bar..., how safe could that be.....", he sat next to me.


"I'm a grown up girl. I know how to take care of myself. I am not going to be a stranger in my own country. I should be able to walk freely wherever I want. Kenapa I nak takut?", I replied.


I saw my server walking towards me. He placed my Southern Comfort on the rocks on the table and followed by a cup of cappuccino. "Thank you.", I said.


"What's up with you.....sejak bila you pandai minum arak ni....datang tempat-tempat macam ni....nak tunggu orang pick-up you.....", dia membebel....
I have no intension of getting drunk. I promised myself never to touch alcoholic beverages since returning Kuala Lumpur a few year ago.


"Shut up lah....! The reason I datang tempat macam ni because I want to get away from people like you and my family....", aku mengeluh. "I just want to be myself and sulk.....that's all...", aku memutar-mutar sudu dalam cawan kopi aku. Berdesing bunyi sudu berlaga pada dinding cawan.


Hanya kedengaran tiupan trumpet dan music instrumental oleh Chet Baker berkumandang. And I kept stirring the teaspoon.


He grabbed my wrist gently a sign asking me to stop what I was doing. I lifted the spoon and placed it on the saucer lalu bersandar di atas couch. He let go of his hand. Not a word dan dia juga bersandar.


We sat there in silence. As I drank my coffee, I stared the rocks of ice melted on the surface while the concentrated whiskey grew darker at the bottom of the glass. Sekali sekala aku curi memandang Emir. So concentrated on his mobile phone. At times he looked back and smile each time.

I called the server and asked to bring ice water with lemon squeeze, a Sombrero, an Expresso and another Cappuccino. Emir sat up. He looked at me. The server left. I turn and looked at Emir.


"Whatever your problems are drinking won't solve them....", Emir said.


"I know....", I replied. We sat there in silence. Masing-masing melayan hal sendiri. He was busy swiping his mobile screen and me,.....enjoying the cool jazz tune. Once a while aku memejamkan mata sambil melenggukkan kepala.


The server arrived and placed all drinks on the table then left.




Emir who was starring at me said, "I'll stay for as long as you need me. I'm yours tonight....", and he immediately pull me into his arms. His hands were caressing my back and once or twice squeeze my tiny body.


Aku hanya mampu tersenyum.


"Thanks....such a generous offer...? Are you sure? Tak ada ke awek-awek model yang akan cari you.....?", aku memerlinya.


He smiled and replied, "Tonight is my off night...". Dia ketawa. Aku tersenyum tawar....try not to laugh.


"So, siapa yang nak minum semua ni?", as he pointed all the drinks on the table. I looked at the drinks...


"Well, you can start with the Expresso since it will be a long, long night. The whiskey is just for show only....unless you like to finish them up....?", I suggested.


"I'll accept the coffee offer but the rest....nope, thanks but no thanks.....membazir saja order liquor ni.....", he replied annoyed.


"Well suit yourself.", aku jawab sambil bersandar. I am very much enjoying the atmosphere here tonight.


Suddenly, Emir slide closer. He placed his arm around my shoulder. I moved closer and feel the comfort in his warmth embrace.


"Emir.....", aku bersuara.


"Shhsssss.....", he replied and kissed my head. I closed my eyes slowly then tightly.


I just fell into his arms. I just want to be held. "You won't let me go.....?", I asked.


" I won't let you go.....not tonight...", he replied and sat with me.


Note : Pictures and images are for illustration purpose only and are sources from Google