Chapter 55 - Aku cinta kau dan dia....

"Emir...., what's your full name....?", aku bertanya.


"Kenapa", he queried. His facial expression was priceless. Terkejut. Mungkin hairan. Did not expected it to come from me.


"Saja.....I only know Emir saja.....mesti you ada full name.", I explained.


"Emir Hamzah....", he answered without any hesitant.


Aku mengangguk-anggukkan kepala...."Nice...sedap bunyinya tapi...". I commented.


"Hmmm.....ada tapi lagi.....nama ni dah ada dalam birth certificate tak ada tapi-tapi lagi....", he sounded annoyed.


"Ok.....", I said and continue to slice the chicken breast on my plate. I looked at his plate and there were untouched food.


Kami diam dan melayan perasaan masing-masing. Hanya kedengaran soft music playing from the 4 piece band di atas pentas kecil hujung ruang restaurant ini. Sekali sekala Emir memerhatikan mobile phonenya yg terletak di tepi pinggan makan.


"Are you expecting anyone to call you? Dari tadi I perhatikan you asyik check your phone?", aku bersuara.


Emir tersenggih dengan soalan aku lalu menjawab, "No lah....". So how's the food?"


"You know I wasn't born yesterday. If you need to be somewhere, It's okay. We can finish off dinner and say our good byes. I pun a bit tired. I have to drive back to Cyberjaya.", aku beralah dan mengelap mulut aku dengan sopan. Aku memang menjaga tata tertib semasa di meja makan.


"Serious....I am not expecting anyone to call or have to be somewhere. It's just a habit agaknya. I tak mahu you pergi. I want you to stay with me tonight....", he responded. "You ni suka fikir yang bukan-bukan....".


"Woman's instinct....the first which crosses the mind is always right", I defended my theory. Emir tergelak.....


"Suka you lah nak fikir macamana. I am a bit disappointed yang you kurang percaya pada I", he voiced out.


I am still waiting for Emir to explained why we are meeting tonight. But he has yet to opened up. Aku memaling muka ke arah Emir dan melirikkan sebuah senyuman.

"Why aren't you eating Emir...? You tak usik pun makanan you. Tak baik membazir.", I break the silence.


"I'm full. Tadi had some snacks with Zack, my buddy.", he replied sambil memerhatikan aku.


"Q....hmmm....I am happy and relief that you came tonight. Jadi biar I berterus terang....no point of me withholding this much longer......", Emir tiba-tiba bersuara. Dia mengalih badannya ke arah aku. We were facing each other. I know the time has come. I need to face reality. He would want to know and I don't think I can give what he wants.


"About what? About us.......", I responded.


"Yes, about us......Apa status you dengan your so call tunang? What's his name...?", he asked without hesitant.


"We are still together the last time I check....and his name is Imran", I replied. Then our conversation got interrupted. "Hold on to that thought....I have to take this call. I'll be back in few minutes.....don't go anywhere", Emir said and pointed at me. He stood up and walked out of the restaurant to take his call. I sat there, turn around to watch the live band. They were playing 'I got you under my skin', a jazzy version.


Right in the middle of the song, I sense someone standing behind. A squeezed on my shoulder. "Sorry, I had to take the call...", voice said. It's Emir....


"Shhssss.........", I replied softly. A sign I do not want to be interrupted. With my back facing him, he slide his hand around my waist. Aku kaku sebentar but Emir gently pull me back to lean against his body. I turn slightly just to make sure it was Emir and he quickly kissed me on my temple. Soon, we were moving to the sound of the piano solo.


When the song ended, Emir still did not let me go. Then he whispered , "I said to myself,  why would I care, when the fact is I am scared to death. I don't even have pride to deny you, Q. This is a proposal. You don't have to decide now..   ". Emir turn me around and now I am looking straight at his face. He uttered, "I want us to be more than friends....cause I am falling in love with you...."


I kept staring his face. Aku menelan air liur. Terasa tekak aku kering. Then Emir continued, "It upsets me that my heart keeps going to you, and it hurts my pride....because I can't control it. Damn I'm scared to death.....but I'm still here. So don't drive me out. It's awkward to say after coming in, but...., please, invite me in. I want to share my life with you."

Credit GP Records and You Tube

Aku tergamam dengan kata-kata Emir. "I'm flattered by your passion. Susah untuk Q decide sebab I belonged to someone else....", I tried to explained.


"Jadi, are you playing with my feelings?", he was frustrated. Not the answer he was expecting. Emir's hands left my waist and he turned. Leaving me with his side profile.....


I put my hands on his arm. "Emir, jangan macam ni. I have no intension of playing with your feelings....I was truthful from day one I jumpa you. I dah pernah explained to you that we can never be together. I am engaged. And we are not compatible...I cannot live your lifestyle.", I tried to put some sense into him.


"So..., now you're a fortune teller? Pandai buat prediction sendiri.? Kalau kita tak cuba, kita tak akan tahu.....", Emir tetap tidak berputus asa memujuk aku. Dia memaling ke arah aku.


"Emir, don't put yourself in a delicate situation. I don't want you to be hurt. You have to stop pressuring me.", aku menegakkan pendirian aku.


Emir tergelak kecil. "Okay, I want to hear it from you.....from your mouth....and from yourself....Is it so possible for you to invite me into your life? Yes, you are right, I can get any woman out there....I was never short changed of any woman I desire.....but you......", Emir terdiam. He held my hands. "I had to work my ass off to get your attention. I never took myself down to the lowest level to win you over.....", dia melepaskan tangan aku dan bersandar di kerusi.


"Well, I'm sorry that I made you work your ass off to get my attention!", aku jawab. Aku turut bersandar. Degupan jantung aku memuncak......maybe he will get the message.Aku rasa kejam sungguh menolak lamaran Emir.


"Okay, you have made the decision kalau itu yang you rasa terbaik buat kita. But I will never give up on you. ", as he sat up and turn to look at me. His hands landed on my thighs. 


"Maafkan I. I terpaksa buat pilihan walaupun I sayang kedua-duanya. Kita tidak di takdirkan untuk bersama,", I said.


"Tapi kita masih boleh jadi teman gaduhkan? Engulfed in an intellectual discussions......", he laughed. Aku menyambut his humor. I  felt very much relief that Emir was a good sport dan tak ambil hati with my rejection. "I will not let our time spent go to waste.". He lifted and kissed my hands.


Aduh......perit rasa hati ini. But I have made my decision. If only Emir knows how much I am attracted to his character slowly falling for him. He must never know about this.....


"I berjanji, I will make you fall in love with me....because I need you in my life...", Emir said.


Tak perlu Emir, I have already fallen in love with you.............cuma pastikan cinta you hanya untuk I. I juga takut kehilangan you.


"Yes, Emir. Friends forever...", and I gave him a hug.


Note : Pictures and images are for illustration purpose only and are sources from Google

Chapter 56 - Counting Star

I hardly receive messages or calls from Emir. Perhaps he has moved on....
I went out with Imran a few times but decided not to travel with him to Bali. He was a little disappointed but I told him I will make it up to him once he's back home. I have no plans yet but I know I will come up with something....


Abang Ngah has totally ignored me. That was a huge relief. His attitude changed and I can sense he tries his best to avoid me whenever at Tan Sri's Office or at Tan Sri's home. I am fine with that as it is a natural reaction after being dumped....Ouch!


Mommy complained Abang Ngah sleeps in the office lately to complete a project he was awarded. I am happy for him and mommy never brought up again Abang Ngah's name when I am around. She knows I have dealt with the issue.


But one day, I happened to share the same elevator with him. The elevator door was about to close when Abang Ngah stepped in. He was  stunned to see me in there and took a step back. "Morning Abang Ngah...come on in....I'm not going to bite you...", I said, jokingly.


Mukanya tadi masam mencuka tiba-tiba bertukar. Dia tersenyum tawar seolah-olah mengucap terima kasih secara tidak ikhlas. "Thanks.", he replied. We stood side by side.

"Sure, no problem.", I replied and stared at the elevator door. He was silent.


"Are you here for the meeting?", suddenly he asked.


"Yup....Tan Sri asked for my presence. I don't know why.", I answered. I saw he glanced at me.


"Okay....(he paused) ingatkan tak datang.", he said.


"Hmmmm....", I replied and prayed so hard that the door will open soon. When it did, we went our separate ways.....aku ke kiri, manakala Abang Ngah ke kanan, where his office is located at the end of the hallway.


I stopped by Khai's workstation but she wasn't there. Cutikah Khai hari ini...? Or is she late? I will check up on her after the meeting. I don't want to be late nanti Tan Sri cakap aku tak berdisiplin.


Aku merasa  pelik mengapa aku di panggil bermesyuarat pagi ini.  Tan Sri tidak akan memanggil aku jikalau mesyuarat pagi ini tak penting. Aku melangkah perlahan ke dalam bilik mesyuarat.


Kelihatan semua share holders termasuk abang-abang aku berada di kerusi masing-masing.


"Q, you come and take a seat here.", Tan Sri bersuara dan menyuruh aku duduk di sebelahnya.


Aku menjawab, "It's okay Tan Sri, there is an empty seat over there....", as I pointed to a chair next to Abang Ngah. That made Abang Ngah turn and looked at the empty seat next to him.


"No...no...no....you sit here...", Tan Sri insisted. I sighed and terkebil-kebil followed his instruction.

"Ladies and gentlemen, thank you for being here on short notice. Absent today is my youngest son as you know in Jakarta.", Tan Sri memulakan ice-breaker.


I paid attention but I still think it was kind of odd for daddy to call this meeting. We sat through the 20 minutes meeting. Everyone hold their breathe. We were glued to the seat. Then the meeting adjourned. "Thank you very much for your attendance and I am counting on your support...", he displayed a broad smile as though a burden was lifted from his back.


I was stunned.......what was that all about?


I went straight to the restroom and lean on the door. I could not believe my ears. I walk facing the horizontal wall mirror. I love my dad but I don't want to work here....I don't belonged here. I folded my arms and stared myself in the mirror. This looks like my nightmare has just began......and Abang Ngah doesn't look happy. Daddy did not give any space for argument. What was said has been decided by him, the Chairman of the Board.


I took out my mobile phone and call Khai.....no answer. That's odd. Why isn't she answering? After freshening up a little, I left the restroom and headed to Khai's workstation. Since, she was not around I wrote a short note on her pink sticky pad and left the floor.


I drove off but I didn't know where to go. Finally I decided to go back to Cyberjaya. Upon reaching Sri Kembangan exit on MEX highway, my phone buzz. I signaled to the side of the road and switched on my hazard light. I answered, " Q, where are you?"


It was daddy.


"Q, dah on the way to Cyberjaya. On MEX highway....kenapa daddy?", I explained.


"Turn around....we still have unfinished business...", he instructed.


"But daddy...I'm almost home....", I sigh....


"Q, not buts.....turn around. You have bigger responsibilities now.....", he sounded irritated.


"Yelah....I'll turn around. I see you at the office ke?", I asked.


"Yes...", and he hang up.

Credit to You Tube and OneRepublic

Sampai sahaja aku di pejabat, aku terus menuju ke bilik daddy. I opened the door and there was daddy, my two brothers and Uncle Ikram. Uncle Ikram is on the BOD and my god-father. Aku menghampiri Uncle Ikram dan kami bersalaman.

"Quxandria.....apa khabar? The sixty-seven year old kiss my forehead. Lama tak datang ke rumah Uncle....", he said.

Aku tertunduk terasa malu....."I'm so sorry Uncle, Q busy the past months. Insya Allah, I will make it up to you....", aku tersenggih....manja.


"Okay, I'll take you up on it.....", he smiled back at me.


"Dia busy banyak menguruskan hal peribadi dari serius bekerja....boy friend keliling pinggan..., Uncle.", tiba-tiba Abang Ngah bersuara. Tersentak aku dibuatnya.


"Wah....Lid....nampaknya kita akan dapat menantu.....", and both of the older gentlemen laughed thinking it was hilarious. I stared directly at Abang Ngah. Dia memalingkan mukanya to avoid my glare. Hendak rasa aku terkam Abang Ngah dan mencungkil bijik matanya right here.....Jealous!?


"Please gentlemen....nobody is getting married here.....yet...", I replied. Abang Ngah almost flipped when he heard my respond.


"Dad, can we start this meeting.....?", Abang Ngah bersuara.


"Yes....yes....", Tan Sri controlled his laughter sambil berdehem....


"My decision is final. I want to retire. I'm tired. I want to go for a long vacation with your mother and enjoy with whatever life we have left. I worked for so long and it's time my children take over my business.", daddy explained.


"But dad, Q has no experience running the HR Division....she will not enjoy working here...", Abang Ngah bersuara. Aku diam and menundukkan kepala. Yes, Abang Ngah could be right. I might not like working here.

"Angah.....Q has the majority shares here. At thirty six percent she should be the Chairman of this company. She's my daughter and I know whether she is good or not. And she is damn good with Human Resources. I have seen her works and the results are impressive. All the reports she produced are straight to the point. Our turn over in staff is low, it's good. This shows how much we value our employees and promote them based on their achievement or accomplishments.", daddy's point of view.


"But daddy, the longer we maintain old staff we never get to employ youngsters, with fresh ideas.", Abang Ngah trying to put sense into daddy's mind.


"Enough Angah!", daddy mula berang bila Abang Ngah membantah cadangan daddy. "There are always training. We can provide training. Kita ada office di Jakarta and Istanbul....we can do a reassignment or swap between employees here and both offices. Itu semua dalam rancangan yang akan dibentangkan dalam next annual staff meeting. I don't want to hear you discrediting your sister's ability. Please keep that in mind.". Daddy walked back towards his chair. He took out a cigar and a cigar cutter from the box on this table.

He gently cut the end of the cigar, put it close to his lips and roll it softly between them. Then he ran the cigar across under his nose. Perhaps getting the feel from the expensive Cuban cigar.


"Daddy belief in you, Q. This is a family business which I built and I want it to maintain in this family.", daddy insisted.


"But daddy.....! Q is not family....dia kan anak angkat...how could she have the majority shares.....", bentak Abang Ngah.


Daddy looked up at Abang Ngah. Dengan tidak semena-mena, he charged towards Abang Ngah and slapped him. Aku terkejut. Uncle  Ikram juga terkejut....


"LID!...", Uncle Ikran held on to daddy's hand. "Enough!", he said.


Daddy stood there and his face was red with anger. "How could you....YOU, of all people say that about your sister? Ya dia bukan anak darah daging daddy but I raised her since she was baby. What makes you think otherwise?!". He retracted a few steps behind and turn facing the clear glass window of his office. You can see the night skyline. KLCC.


"Kasyaff, I am sure your father didn't mean it..... Please don't be out of line. Have some respect!", Uncle Ikram bersuara.

Aku berasa terkejut dan sedih with this meeting tonight. Rata-ratanya Abang Ngah memang tidak setuju peranan yang diberikan oleh daddy kepada aku kerana aku bukan darah daging keluarga ini. Baru aku tahu sikap Abang Ngah yang gila kuasa dan racis.

"Susah-susah saja Q resigned dari jadi HR Director.", aku bersuara.


"Nonsense Q, you can't resign just like that you have shares here.", daddy said.

"Ok kalau macam tu, Q jual semua shares pada daddy. Then I will have nothing to do with this family anymore.", I responded.


Note : Pictures and images are for illustration purpose only and are sources from Google