Chapter 59 - You are the Reason

Pagi itu aku bangun seawal enam pagi. I couldn't sleep no more. I crept out of bed and stared at the cream colored wall....Fikiran aku buntu. Telan mati emak, diluah mati bapak.....itulah pepatah melayu yang mengambarkan emosi aku sekarang.


Adakah aku membuat keputusan yang bijak dengan menerajui HR Department? This means I have to leave my current job....sepuluh tahun bersama organisasi antarabangsa....my second home. Musnah impian aku.


I reached my cellphone and dialed....


Me : Sorry to wake you up this early..., but can I see you? We need to talk....


The voice on the other end..., "Sure. Meet me in the office at 10 am today."


I hung up. I know what I should do.....


After I was done with my shower, I left the bedroom and peeked into the living area. I saw Emir sitting at the kitchen counter sipping coffee.


"Good morning Emir.....sedapnya bau kopi tu...?", I greeted him. He turn and had a surprised look on his face.


"Good morning you....you're up early and it's not even 7...", he replied. I gave him a big smile and walked over to him. I stood next to him as he pour coffee for me. "Here you go....freshly brewed...Colombian coffee."


I took a seat next to him and sniff the coffee...."Hmmm....nice smell...", and I sipped twice even though it's hot....Emir tersengih memerhatikan gelagat aku.


"You are up early too....?" I asked Emir.


"Me..? I'm used to it....5 am I'm up 6 am I hit the gym. Since I had a guest at home I did a bit of weight lifting and came back about 15 minutes ago.", he replied. "Did you sleep well...?", he asked.


"Yeah, a little.....did lots of tossing and turning...maybe all the coffee I had last night....", I explained. "Actually, I need to leave soon. I've got to go back to the office and meet my father for a short meeting....Unfinished business....you know....".


"Okay, I understand.....what time you're leaving?", Emir asked. His hands caressed my back.


"Once I finish my coffee....", I answered and took another sip of the hot coffee. "Just between you and me.....I planned to leave the country for a while.....tukar angin. Sambung belajar then buat part time work. I should be okay....kan?", I placed my arms on the high kitchen counter and lay my head on my arms.


Emir looked at me with so much love. He slide his fingers through my hair and tucked them neatly behind my ear. "hmmm.....that bad huh...,?", was his response.


"Yup....I feel suffocated.", I replied.


"How long will it take me to see you again...?", he wants to know. He brushes the back of his hands on my cheek.


"I don't know....I really don't know....." I whispered.


"Okay....don't make me wait too long.....I am not getting any younger...", he chided me. That made me giggle and I lightly punched his arm. He caught my hand in mid air and lift me off of my high chair. I fell into his arms. I placed my other arm in between our chest but Emir was quick. He had my arms, lift it up and place them around his neck. Our face are now inches away but I think he could sense how uncomfortable I was.....that he slowly let go of my arms. I retrieve my steps and just lean against my chair but still facing him. I thought he would fought harder......

Credit to Calum Scott and You Tube

"Hard to get ya.....it's okay, I like a little challenge now and then....I am going to miss you....you know, very much.", Emir said as he stroke my back a few times. Strong yet gentle hand. It was so comforting.....surprised kan coming from a playboy maybe tak ada makna.


But I know how I feel and I can't lie. "Thank you....I am flattered....I am going to miss you too.....", I said and I hugged him. I slipped my arms around him and I can feel him against my body. He pulled me gently. I hugged him tight. "I like you a lot Emir.....I really do. Only time can tell.....", I said slowly.


He pulled me back a little and he cupped my face. He kissed my lips. His thumbs stroking my cheeks. And he place another kiss. This time a little bit harder while his tongue make its way between my lips. Aku kaku. My hands are now on his thighs. He kissed me again and this time he sucked my bottom lip.


I kissed him back. His hands reached my back and stroking lower and lower until they reached my bottom. He slowly rubbed with his large hands. I was taken a back that I pull away. "Shhhhh.....", Emir said. Emir wiped my wet lips with his thumbs. He accepted my decision.


"We better stopped before it leads to something else.....", I reminded him.


"Yeah....you're right....don't chase me away from your life.....", he understood.


Aku tersenyum sahaja. I never meant to chase you away Emir. Can't you see that.....I don't want to look cheap in front of you. I believe hard to catch. You work on your love life and learn to respect my choice. When I am ready to be swift away by you.....only you know when the time is right.
I took his hand, kiss it and placed it next to my cheek.


"I got to go now.....I don't want to be late for my meeting....I'll call you later...?", I told him.


"Okay...okay....you call me before you leave the country.....?", he asked.


"Of course...I will....bye...", I replied and walked over to the sofa. I grabbed my bag and Emir followed me from behind.




Note : Pictures and images are for illustration purpose only and are sources from Google

Chapter 58 - Tak Pernah Hilang

"Sayang, it's almost 2 am....I'll take you home...hmmm....ok? It's closing time...." Emir asked.


Aku mengangguk dan membetulkan rambut dan baju. Aku menarik handbag lalu mengeluarkan purse. "No...don't worry about the bill. I have taken care of it....", Emir respond. He held his hand out. Without hesitation aku menghulurkan tangan yang kini di genggam erat oleh Emir.


I smiled. "Siapa kata I nak bayar....? Oh...you ingat I nak keluarkan purse.....? Memang pun you yang patut bayar....", I responded cynically.


"Oh...? So you kenakan I lah ni....? Smart of you, huh...?", he replied. Emir menyentap lengan aku. Aku memaling pandang ke arah Emir lalu menjelirkan lidah sambil mencebik. Dia hanya tersenyum memerhatikan tingkah laku aku.


As we walked down the steps, "Kat mana you parked your car...", he questioned.


"Ada di depan tu...", I told him and pointed my finger towards across the street.


Emir lit up a cigarette on one hand and he held on my hand with the other. We walked to my car. "Give me your keys. I'll drive you home....", he said. Tanpa berlenggah aku menghulurkan kunci kereta. Once unlocked he opened the passenger side door and help me in.

Credit to You Tube and Seventeen Eleven Music

As the engine started running, I switched on the radio sambil mencari station yang sesuai dengan mood aku malam ni. Then I heard Kaer's voice and lean back on the car seat.


"Wow...I didn't realized you suka dengar lagu-lagu melayu....I ingat orang macam you cuma suka lagu Inggeris...", he said.


"Is that how you view me? Melayu yang tak sedar diri....? Macam tu...?", I felt hurt by his remarks.


"No...no...no...don't get me wrong.....", he tried explaining.


I twist my body towards him. "Then tell me how should I not get you wrong? I melayu so I jugak suka lagu-lagu melayu. Tak ada yang pelik?", aku merapu.


"I am sorry....my line of question tadi tak betul.....I tak kata you salah pun. Cuma persepsi saya saja. Kalau saya yang terlepas kata, saya minta maaf. Ok....you, me..., kalau jumpa mesti nak bergaduh.....kan?", Emir apologized.


"Next time...think before you speak....you are just so mean to me....apa yang you dapat kalau you successfully sakitkan hati I?", I answered back. I immediately switched off the radio.


"Why did you do that....kan lagu tengah best...", he said and switched on back the radio.


Aku malas melayan kerenah Emir. I closed my eyes and pretended to fall a sleep. Emir was silent as he drove into the night....


"Q....? Q..., we're here.........", Emir menepuk peha aku perlahan. Aku terjaga. "We're here already..?", aku bertanya sambil memerhatikan sekeliling. "Hmmm....this is not Cyberjaya. Where am I?", I asked him.


"We're at my place....you tertidur tadi. I don't exactly know where you live and tak sampai hati nak kejut you to ask direction. I takut nanti I kena marah....so I drove straight to my apartment.", he replied.


Aku terkedu dan tak berkata apa-apa.


As we passed the security check point I noticed a huge signage. Lanson Place Service Residence. He drove straight, found a parking spot and parked my car.


As I stepped out of the car I accidently bumped into him. "Sorry, I was about to open to door for you...", he said. I looked up at him and smile...."Thank you....", I uttered. "Sunyi saja......?", I said. He smiled.


"Come, let me show you my place....", he responded.


We reached 3rd floor and the elevator door opened. Emir memimpin tangan aku seolah excited untuk menunjukkan apartment tempat tinggalnya. Aku hanya mengekori Emir.

"This is it....we're here.", sambil dia membuka pintu. "You can rest and kalau you nak tidur dulu pun boleh. I have a guest room.


Masuk saja ke ruang tamu, Emir berkata, "Nak minum pun boleh...., tea perhaps. I could offer coffee but we had too much of it tonight....nanti high on caffeine pulak...", he offered.


"It's okay Emir. It's almost three in the morning. Maybe it's better for me to get home....", I replied.


"Q, it's late and not save for you to drive alone at this hour. Rest here. I won't bother you. You go a head and clean up and make yourself feel at home, ok? Wait here. I'll bring you fresh towel and spare t-shirt and cotton pants to change into....". He disappeared and came back in a flash. He handed me a towel and changing clothes.


"But Emir....", I resist.


He came closer and had both hands at the side of my face. "Listen, don't argue with me. Have a good sleep and when you wake up fresh, you nak balik....I will not stop you....I will in the room down the hall if you need me.....", and he kissed on my forehead.


Aku mengikut saja.....terpukau dengan pujukan Emir. "But you kejut I around eight, boleh?", I asked.


"Ok....eight it is...", he replied.


He led me to the guest room. Emir turned and I hugged him. "Thanks Emir for your hospitality....maaf menyusahkan you saja....", I said.


"No worries....for you..., anytime....", he replied and kissed my hand. "Sweet dreams..."

Note : Pictures and images are for illustration purpose only and are sources from Google

Chapter 57 - Almost Blue

"Don't be ridiculous. You are part of this family. Daddy tak pernah membeza-bezakan antara ke empat-empat anak daddy. Kasyaff...! watch your mouth!", daddy warned Abang Ngah.


I stayed calm. Walaupun jantung aku bagai di siat-siat. Pipi aku membahang panas. Yes....I wanted to burst out crying. Tak ada siapa dapat rasakan perasaan aku sekarang. Aku mendonggakkan muka aku. I am trying my best to control tears from spilling. I stood up and smile.....


"Sekarang Q tahu kedudukan Q di pandangan Abang Ngah.", and I turned to daddy. "Daddy, I will take your challenge. Q nak lead HR Department and I want to learn about architecture. Please consider my request....I am not going anywhere. Hans & Hans Architecture and Design is mine too, as much as it is yours!", I gave my assurance and pointed at Abang Ngah. My right arm is on my hips.


Abang Ngah who has been leaning against daddy's glass table, looked down at his feet. "Yeah....whatever....", he mumbled.


Uncle Ikram stepped closer and put his right arm around my shoulder. "It will take time to adjust but I am sure you will be phenomenal...", he tried to comfort me. As he rubbed my arms and continued, "As long as I have known your father since our younger years, I assured you all berempat memang adik beradik.". He looked at Abang Ngah. "Kasyaff, enough of this nonsense. You all have work together for another successful year. Okay, listen....you guys must come to our kenduri doa selamat on New Year's eve at my house. Jangan gaduh-gaduh lagi. Kita patut bersyukur sebab diberikan rezeki dan kesihatan yang baik.", he tried to calm the moment. He kissed me on my head as he towered six inches from me. "I will get Junaidah to deliver the invitation.", he said.


"Thanks Uncle...", aku jawab dengan manja. He gave me another squeeze. I hugged him. "I have got to go nanti your Aunty pergi buat missing person report pulak kalau Uncle balik lambat. Kasyaff you must come ya....no excuses." as we walked to wards daddy. "Lid you and wife....come tau.....", he finally said.


"Yes...yes...yes...insya Allah Ram....", both shook hands and hugged each other.


Soon after Uncle Ikram left, I headed home. Penat sungguh otak aku. Recalling scenarios after scenarios membuat perasaan aku bercampur baur. Can I held two position at the same time? 


I decided to turn my car to Damansara Utama. I heard of a place called Whiskey Bar and it receive great reviews. It has a great ambiance and rich in selection of whiskies. Their pan seared scallops in ponzu teriyaki sauce are supposed to be very tasty. It is said this bar is the quintessential hidden bar. Just what I need, a quiet place, a drink and my I Phone.


I found a parking spot. After about 10 minutes walk I found my way on the second floor of a nondescript shop lot. Mula-mula aku macam sesat. You may have to do a bit of searching.


I stepped into the bar. I found a cozy corner with couches & dim lighting. Took my seat and immediately attended by a server. I was given a warm towel and ordered my drinks. Jazzy music was playing in the background as the server left me alone. Aku mebelek-belek mobile phone aku.

Credit to Tim Trzoska and You Tube

Selang beberapa minit.....the waiter cameback......or so I thought.


"Thank you. Just put it next to my handbag..", I told the server. It was odd that he stood still. So I looked up.


"Just put it....", I pause. It wasn't the server.


"I saw you walking from across the street and decided to follow you. It's late and a single woman alone at this time, entering a bar..., how safe could that be.....", he sat next to me.


"I'm a grown up girl. I know how to take care of myself. I am not going to be a stranger in my own country. I should be able to walk freely wherever I want. Kenapa I nak takut?", I replied.


I saw my server walking towards me. He placed my Southern Comfort on the rocks on the table and followed by a cup of cappuccino. "Thank you.", I said.


"What's up with you.....sejak bila you pandai minum arak ni....datang tempat-tempat macam ni....nak tunggu orang pick-up you.....", dia membebel....
I have no intension of getting drunk. I promised myself never to touch alcoholic beverages since returning Kuala Lumpur a few year ago.


"Shut up lah....! The reason I datang tempat macam ni because I want to get away from people like you and my family....", aku mengeluh. "I just want to be myself and sulk.....that's all...", aku memutar-mutar sudu dalam cawan kopi aku. Berdesing bunyi sudu berlaga pada dinding cawan.


Hanya kedengaran tiupan trumpet dan music instrumental oleh Chet Baker berkumandang. And I kept stirring the teaspoon.


He grabbed my wrist gently a sign asking me to stop what I was doing. I lifted the spoon and placed it on the saucer lalu bersandar di atas couch. He let go of his hand. Not a word dan dia juga bersandar.


We sat there in silence. As I drank my coffee, I stared the rocks of ice melted on the surface while the concentrated whiskey grew darker at the bottom of the glass. Sekali sekala aku curi memandang Emir. So concentrated on his mobile phone. At times he looked back and smile each time.

I called the server and asked to bring ice water with lemon squeeze, a Sombrero, an Expresso and another Cappuccino. Emir sat up. He looked at me. The server left. I turn and looked at Emir.


"Whatever your problems are drinking won't solve them....", Emir said.


"I know....", I replied. We sat there in silence. Masing-masing melayan hal sendiri. He was busy swiping his mobile screen and me,.....enjoying the cool jazz tune. Once a while aku memejamkan mata sambil melenggukkan kepala.


The server arrived and placed all drinks on the table then left.




Emir who was starring at me said, "I'll stay for as long as you need me. I'm yours tonight....", and he immediately pull me into his arms. His hands were caressing my back and once or twice squeeze my tiny body.


Aku hanya mampu tersenyum.


"Thanks....such a generous offer...? Are you sure? Tak ada ke awek-awek model yang akan cari you.....?", aku memerlinya.


He smiled and replied, "Tonight is my off night...". Dia ketawa. Aku tersenyum tawar....try not to laugh.


"So, siapa yang nak minum semua ni?", as he pointed all the drinks on the table. I looked at the drinks...


"Well, you can start with the Expresso since it will be a long, long night. The whiskey is just for show only....unless you like to finish them up....?", I suggested.


"I'll accept the coffee offer but the rest....nope, thanks but no thanks.....membazir saja order liquor ni.....", he replied annoyed.


"Well suit yourself.", aku jawab sambil bersandar. I am very much enjoying the atmosphere here tonight.


Suddenly, Emir slide closer. He placed his arm around my shoulder. I moved closer and feel the comfort in his warmth embrace.


"Emir.....", aku bersuara.


"Shhsssss.....", he replied and kissed my head. I closed my eyes slowly then tightly.


I just fell into his arms. I just want to be held. "You won't let me go.....?", I asked.


" I won't let you go.....not tonight...", he replied and sat with me.


Note : Pictures and images are for illustration purpose only and are sources from Google

Chapter 55 - Aku cinta kau dan dia....

"Emir...., what's your full name....?", aku bertanya.


"Kenapa", he queried. His facial expression was priceless. Terkejut. Mungkin hairan. Did not expected it to come from me.


"Saja.....I only know Emir saja.....mesti you ada full name.", I explained.


"Emir Hamzah....", he answered without any hesitant.


Aku mengangguk-anggukkan kepala...."Nice...sedap bunyinya tapi...". I commented.


"Hmmm.....ada tapi lagi.....nama ni dah ada dalam birth certificate tak ada tapi-tapi lagi....", he sounded annoyed.


"Ok.....", I said and continue to slice the chicken breast on my plate. I looked at his plate and there were untouched food.


Kami diam dan melayan perasaan masing-masing. Hanya kedengaran soft music playing from the 4 piece band di atas pentas kecil hujung ruang restaurant ini. Sekali sekala Emir memerhatikan mobile phonenya yg terletak di tepi pinggan makan.


"Are you expecting anyone to call you? Dari tadi I perhatikan you asyik check your phone?", aku bersuara.


Emir tersenggih dengan soalan aku lalu menjawab, "No lah....". So how's the food?"


"You know I wasn't born yesterday. If you need to be somewhere, It's okay. We can finish off dinner and say our good byes. I pun a bit tired. I have to drive back to Cyberjaya.", aku beralah dan mengelap mulut aku dengan sopan. Aku memang menjaga tata tertib semasa di meja makan.


"Serious....I am not expecting anyone to call or have to be somewhere. It's just a habit agaknya. I tak mahu you pergi. I want you to stay with me tonight....", he responded. "You ni suka fikir yang bukan-bukan....".


"Woman's instinct....the first which crosses the mind is always right", I defended my theory. Emir tergelak.....


"Suka you lah nak fikir macamana. I am a bit disappointed yang you kurang percaya pada I", he voiced out.


I am still waiting for Emir to explained why we are meeting tonight. But he has yet to opened up. Aku memaling muka ke arah Emir dan melirikkan sebuah senyuman.

"Why aren't you eating Emir...? You tak usik pun makanan you. Tak baik membazir.", I break the silence.


"I'm full. Tadi had some snacks with Zack, my buddy.", he replied sambil memerhatikan aku.


"Q....hmmm....I am happy and relief that you came tonight. Jadi biar I berterus terang....no point of me withholding this much longer......", Emir tiba-tiba bersuara. Dia mengalih badannya ke arah aku. We were facing each other. I know the time has come. I need to face reality. He would want to know and I don't think I can give what he wants.


"About what? About us.......", I responded.


"Yes, about us......Apa status you dengan your so call tunang? What's his name...?", he asked without hesitant.


"We are still together the last time I check....and his name is Imran", I replied. Then our conversation got interrupted. "Hold on to that thought....I have to take this call. I'll be back in few minutes.....don't go anywhere", Emir said and pointed at me. He stood up and walked out of the restaurant to take his call. I sat there, turn around to watch the live band. They were playing 'I got you under my skin', a jazzy version.


Right in the middle of the song, I sense someone standing behind. A squeezed on my shoulder. "Sorry, I had to take the call...", voice said. It's Emir....


"Shhssss.........", I replied softly. A sign I do not want to be interrupted. With my back facing him, he slide his hand around my waist. Aku kaku sebentar but Emir gently pull me back to lean against his body. I turn slightly just to make sure it was Emir and he quickly kissed me on my temple. Soon, we were moving to the sound of the piano solo.


When the song ended, Emir still did not let me go. Then he whispered , "I said to myself,  why would I care, when the fact is I am scared to death. I don't even have pride to deny you, Q. This is a proposal. You don't have to decide now..   ". Emir turn me around and now I am looking straight at his face. He uttered, "I want us to be more than friends....cause I am falling in love with you...."


I kept staring his face. Aku menelan air liur. Terasa tekak aku kering. Then Emir continued, "It upsets me that my heart keeps going to you, and it hurts my pride....because I can't control it. Damn I'm scared to death.....but I'm still here. So don't drive me out. It's awkward to say after coming in, but...., please, invite me in. I want to share my life with you."

Credit GP Records and You Tube

Aku tergamam dengan kata-kata Emir. "I'm flattered by your passion. Susah untuk Q decide sebab I belonged to someone else....", I tried to explained.


"Jadi, are you playing with my feelings?", he was frustrated. Not the answer he was expecting. Emir's hands left my waist and he turned. Leaving me with his side profile.....


I put my hands on his arm. "Emir, jangan macam ni. I have no intension of playing with your feelings....I was truthful from day one I jumpa you. I dah pernah explained to you that we can never be together. I am engaged. And we are not compatible...I cannot live your lifestyle.", I tried to put some sense into him.


"So..., now you're a fortune teller? Pandai buat prediction sendiri.? Kalau kita tak cuba, kita tak akan tahu.....", Emir tetap tidak berputus asa memujuk aku. Dia memaling ke arah aku.


"Emir, don't put yourself in a delicate situation. I don't want you to be hurt. You have to stop pressuring me.", aku menegakkan pendirian aku.


Emir tergelak kecil. "Okay, I want to hear it from you.....from your mouth....and from yourself....Is it so possible for you to invite me into your life? Yes, you are right, I can get any woman out there....I was never short changed of any woman I desire.....but you......", Emir terdiam. He held my hands. "I had to work my ass off to get your attention. I never took myself down to the lowest level to win you over.....", dia melepaskan tangan aku dan bersandar di kerusi.


"Well, I'm sorry that I made you work your ass off to get my attention!", aku jawab. Aku turut bersandar. Degupan jantung aku memuncak......maybe he will get the message.Aku rasa kejam sungguh menolak lamaran Emir.


"Okay, you have made the decision kalau itu yang you rasa terbaik buat kita. But I will never give up on you. ", as he sat up and turn to look at me. His hands landed on my thighs. 


"Maafkan I. I terpaksa buat pilihan walaupun I sayang kedua-duanya. Kita tidak di takdirkan untuk bersama,", I said.


"Tapi kita masih boleh jadi teman gaduhkan? Engulfed in an intellectual discussions......", he laughed. Aku menyambut his humor. I  felt very much relief that Emir was a good sport dan tak ambil hati with my rejection. "I will not let our time spent go to waste.". He lifted and kissed my hands.


Aduh......perit rasa hati ini. But I have made my decision. If only Emir knows how much I am attracted to his character slowly falling for him. He must never know about this.....


"I berjanji, I will make you fall in love with me....because I need you in my life...", Emir said.


Tak perlu Emir, I have already fallen in love with you.............cuma pastikan cinta you hanya untuk I. I juga takut kehilangan you.


"Yes, Emir. Friends forever...", and I gave him a hug.


Note : Pictures and images are for illustration purpose only and are sources from Google

Chapter 56 - Counting Star

I hardly receive messages or calls from Emir. Perhaps he has moved on....
I went out with Imran a few times but decided not to travel with him to Bali. He was a little disappointed but I told him I will make it up to him once he's back home. I have no plans yet but I know I will come up with something....


Abang Ngah has totally ignored me. That was a huge relief. His attitude changed and I can sense he tries his best to avoid me whenever at Tan Sri's Office or at Tan Sri's home. I am fine with that as it is a natural reaction after being dumped....Ouch!


Mommy complained Abang Ngah sleeps in the office lately to complete a project he was awarded. I am happy for him and mommy never brought up again Abang Ngah's name when I am around. She knows I have dealt with the issue.


But one day, I happened to share the same elevator with him. The elevator door was about to close when Abang Ngah stepped in. He was  stunned to see me in there and took a step back. "Morning Abang Ngah...come on in....I'm not going to bite you...", I said, jokingly.


Mukanya tadi masam mencuka tiba-tiba bertukar. Dia tersenyum tawar seolah-olah mengucap terima kasih secara tidak ikhlas. "Thanks.", he replied. We stood side by side.

"Sure, no problem.", I replied and stared at the elevator door. He was silent.


"Are you here for the meeting?", suddenly he asked.


"Yup....Tan Sri asked for my presence. I don't know why.", I answered. I saw he glanced at me.


"Okay....(he paused) ingatkan tak datang.", he said.


"Hmmmm....", I replied and prayed so hard that the door will open soon. When it did, we went our separate ways.....aku ke kiri, manakala Abang Ngah ke kanan, where his office is located at the end of the hallway.


I stopped by Khai's workstation but she wasn't there. Cutikah Khai hari ini...? Or is she late? I will check up on her after the meeting. I don't want to be late nanti Tan Sri cakap aku tak berdisiplin.


Aku merasa  pelik mengapa aku di panggil bermesyuarat pagi ini.  Tan Sri tidak akan memanggil aku jikalau mesyuarat pagi ini tak penting. Aku melangkah perlahan ke dalam bilik mesyuarat.


Kelihatan semua share holders termasuk abang-abang aku berada di kerusi masing-masing.


"Q, you come and take a seat here.", Tan Sri bersuara dan menyuruh aku duduk di sebelahnya.


Aku menjawab, "It's okay Tan Sri, there is an empty seat over there....", as I pointed to a chair next to Abang Ngah. That made Abang Ngah turn and looked at the empty seat next to him.


"No...no...no....you sit here...", Tan Sri insisted. I sighed and terkebil-kebil followed his instruction.

"Ladies and gentlemen, thank you for being here on short notice. Absent today is my youngest son as you know in Jakarta.", Tan Sri memulakan ice-breaker.


I paid attention but I still think it was kind of odd for daddy to call this meeting. We sat through the 20 minutes meeting. Everyone hold their breathe. We were glued to the seat. Then the meeting adjourned. "Thank you very much for your attendance and I am counting on your support...", he displayed a broad smile as though a burden was lifted from his back.


I was stunned.......what was that all about?


I went straight to the restroom and lean on the door. I could not believe my ears. I walk facing the horizontal wall mirror. I love my dad but I don't want to work here....I don't belonged here. I folded my arms and stared myself in the mirror. This looks like my nightmare has just began......and Abang Ngah doesn't look happy. Daddy did not give any space for argument. What was said has been decided by him, the Chairman of the Board.


I took out my mobile phone and call Khai.....no answer. That's odd. Why isn't she answering? After freshening up a little, I left the restroom and headed to Khai's workstation. Since, she was not around I wrote a short note on her pink sticky pad and left the floor.


I drove off but I didn't know where to go. Finally I decided to go back to Cyberjaya. Upon reaching Sri Kembangan exit on MEX highway, my phone buzz. I signaled to the side of the road and switched on my hazard light. I answered, " Q, where are you?"


It was daddy.


"Q, dah on the way to Cyberjaya. On MEX highway....kenapa daddy?", I explained.


"Turn around....we still have unfinished business...", he instructed.


"But daddy...I'm almost home....", I sigh....


"Q, not buts.....turn around. You have bigger responsibilities now.....", he sounded irritated.


"Yelah....I'll turn around. I see you at the office ke?", I asked.


"Yes...", and he hang up.

Credit to You Tube and OneRepublic

Sampai sahaja aku di pejabat, aku terus menuju ke bilik daddy. I opened the door and there was daddy, my two brothers and Uncle Ikram. Uncle Ikram is on the BOD and my god-father. Aku menghampiri Uncle Ikram dan kami bersalaman.

"Quxandria.....apa khabar? The sixty-seven year old kiss my forehead. Lama tak datang ke rumah Uncle....", he said.

Aku tertunduk terasa malu....."I'm so sorry Uncle, Q busy the past months. Insya Allah, I will make it up to you....", aku tersenggih....manja.


"Okay, I'll take you up on it.....", he smiled back at me.


"Dia busy banyak menguruskan hal peribadi dari serius bekerja....boy friend keliling pinggan..., Uncle.", tiba-tiba Abang Ngah bersuara. Tersentak aku dibuatnya.


"Wah....Lid....nampaknya kita akan dapat menantu.....", and both of the older gentlemen laughed thinking it was hilarious. I stared directly at Abang Ngah. Dia memalingkan mukanya to avoid my glare. Hendak rasa aku terkam Abang Ngah dan mencungkil bijik matanya right here.....Jealous!?


"Please gentlemen....nobody is getting married here.....yet...", I replied. Abang Ngah almost flipped when he heard my respond.


"Dad, can we start this meeting.....?", Abang Ngah bersuara.


"Yes....yes....", Tan Sri controlled his laughter sambil berdehem....


"My decision is final. I want to retire. I'm tired. I want to go for a long vacation with your mother and enjoy with whatever life we have left. I worked for so long and it's time my children take over my business.", daddy explained.


"But dad, Q has no experience running the HR Division....she will not enjoy working here...", Abang Ngah bersuara. Aku diam and menundukkan kepala. Yes, Abang Ngah could be right. I might not like working here.

"Angah.....Q has the majority shares here. At thirty six percent she should be the Chairman of this company. She's my daughter and I know whether she is good or not. And she is damn good with Human Resources. I have seen her works and the results are impressive. All the reports she produced are straight to the point. Our turn over in staff is low, it's good. This shows how much we value our employees and promote them based on their achievement or accomplishments.", daddy's point of view.


"But daddy, the longer we maintain old staff we never get to employ youngsters, with fresh ideas.", Abang Ngah trying to put sense into daddy's mind.


"Enough Angah!", daddy mula berang bila Abang Ngah membantah cadangan daddy. "There are always training. We can provide training. Kita ada office di Jakarta and Istanbul....we can do a reassignment or swap between employees here and both offices. Itu semua dalam rancangan yang akan dibentangkan dalam next annual staff meeting. I don't want to hear you discrediting your sister's ability. Please keep that in mind.". Daddy walked back towards his chair. He took out a cigar and a cigar cutter from the box on this table.

He gently cut the end of the cigar, put it close to his lips and roll it softly between them. Then he ran the cigar across under his nose. Perhaps getting the feel from the expensive Cuban cigar.


"Daddy belief in you, Q. This is a family business which I built and I want it to maintain in this family.", daddy insisted.


"But daddy.....! Q is not family....dia kan anak angkat...how could she have the majority shares.....", bentak Abang Ngah.


Daddy looked up at Abang Ngah. Dengan tidak semena-mena, he charged towards Abang Ngah and slapped him. Aku terkejut. Uncle  Ikram juga terkejut....


"LID!...", Uncle Ikran held on to daddy's hand. "Enough!", he said.


Daddy stood there and his face was red with anger. "How could you....YOU, of all people say that about your sister? Ya dia bukan anak darah daging daddy but I raised her since she was baby. What makes you think otherwise?!". He retracted a few steps behind and turn facing the clear glass window of his office. You can see the night skyline. KLCC.


"Kasyaff, I am sure your father didn't mean it..... Please don't be out of line. Have some respect!", Uncle Ikram bersuara.

Aku berasa terkejut dan sedih with this meeting tonight. Rata-ratanya Abang Ngah memang tidak setuju peranan yang diberikan oleh daddy kepada aku kerana aku bukan darah daging keluarga ini. Baru aku tahu sikap Abang Ngah yang gila kuasa dan racis.

"Susah-susah saja Q resigned dari jadi HR Director.", aku bersuara.


"Nonsense Q, you can't resign just like that you have shares here.", daddy said.

"Ok kalau macam tu, Q jual semua shares pada daddy. Then I will have nothing to do with this family anymore.", I responded.


Note : Pictures and images are for illustration purpose only and are sources from Google