Chapter 12

For now, I do not have any choice but to let her go....next time it's not going to be easy for her. I need her in my life. She is the one I have been waiting for. She fills the gap, the empty space I had in a long time. To have conversation with her at 7 am in the morning without make up, I think that is love. She's just a good person in so many ways that always make me love and respect her that much more.

It was an indescribable feeling; I just felt this utter peace and love towards her. She was just perfect: The way her long dark eyelash fluttered against her cheekbones, the faint pink blush in her checks, the slight smile on her lips and how she just smelled. I just knew she was the one for me.

"Apa yang Im fikirkan......Kalau dah suka berterus terang....nanti terlepas gigit jari sendiri...", Mak Jah bersuara sambil tangannya mengelap meja.

Aku tersentak. Aku menghirup kopi di meja dapur sambil tersenyum.....

"Nak tunggu apa lagi, Im.......dah ada depan mata....cantik, sopan, merendah diri, insya Allah murah rezeki....Mak Jah setuju sangat. Tak elok bawak anak dara orang kalau tak ada niat jujur....",  nasihat Mak Jah.

"Im hormati penilaian Mak Jah. Im dah anggap Mak Jah seperti emak Im sendiri. Niat dah ada tapi ada halangan. Saya perlukan masa untuk mengenali hati budinya. Saya tak mahu terburu-buru kali ini. Saya mahu dia menyayangi saya seikhlas hatinya. Saya pun takut kehilangannya.......", aku jawab.

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"Ialah......Mak Jah mengingatkan saja.....Im, makan tengahari ke kat rumah. Mak Jah boleh masak gulai kicap ayam yang Im suka sangat....?", tanya Mak Jah.

"Nasi goreng tadi ada lagikan? Pandai-pandailah Im nanti. Mak Jah baliklah....kalau Im lapar Im bolah call ajak Q dinner ke nanti.....", aku tersenggih lalu mengenyit mata kat Mak Jah.

"Ada-ada je la kau ni Im.....kunci rumah nanti elok-elok.....Hmmm, Mak Jah balik dulu....Assalamualaikum...", ucap Mak Jah.

Aku menyalam Mak Jah dan mencium tangannya. Dia kemudian bersuara, "Im perasan tak kebaikan yang Q baru bawa dalam hidup Im? Apa yang baru Im buat kat Mak Jah? Mak Jah terharu bila Im mencium tangan Mak Jah.....". 

My next response was natural.....I hugged Mak Jah. I heard her sobbed. I wiped her tears with both my thumbs. She wiped her nose with the end of her blouse. Then she let herself go and grabbed her bag from the kitchen counter. She stopped and wiped my tears. Aku mengangguk-anggukkan kepala.

She left.

Waalaikum salam.......Mak Jah.